January 2003 Archives

At the bar, trust me this post, you are going to need it. Even if you don't read it, get a free :cocktail anyways just for visiting......

Tonight, my hubby gave me a chance to recop from being mama, wife, and housekeeper. Meaning, taking kids away for hours so that I can relax, have a :cocktail or two, and listen to music and become grounded once again.....

Speaking of music.....GOD I love music......it touches one's life in so many different facets of one's life times. I'm a very very complicated person. I readily admit it, yet I also have many reasons why I am the way I am.

I make no allowances for my downfalls nor do I find myself anything but a "humor" person at the worst possible moment in one's life. My timing has ALWAYS been off!!!

Yet through the thick and thin of it all, I still have family that loves me and friends who love me like family. *shrugs go figure*.....so now......to the core of my post.......to reveal as much as I'm "emotionally able to reveal" about myself through songs......

Frist song........Celion Dion........"Because You Loved Me".........hummmmmmmmmmmm how do I even begin on this one.....*rubs head like Winnie the Pooh....."think think think".......how much are you willing to reveal? "again think think think".......going safe mode here......common knowledge.....this song touches me on so many different levels...first and foremost......my parents......if you know the song..you think you know why unless you know me....I'm adopted!!! So this song has more meaning to me about how my parents are with me than any NON adoptive person could imagine. Yet, it isn't a song that is just about my parents and family, it is also a song about my husband and friends. Again, I state, I'm complicated.

Then the Eagles ~ remember them? OMG I love them!!! Saw them in concert.......ONE of the best nights of my life!!!! Several of their songs leap to mind from my life......Wasted Time.......first and foremost, because for most of my life that is what I felt like I was doing "Wasted Time"......I have had my share of failed "relationships" and one failed marriage........so of course this song hits a cord with me on MANY levels..........but after living through all the heartache, I've found out, NOTHING is wasted time......it just wasn't what was right at the time!!! But "shadows NEVER leave one's mind do they?"

Then from the same group (the Eagles if you aren't following HA)......."I Can't Tell You Why".....my poor husband now, that is all I can say about some of the things that send me over the edge..."I just can't say why"...they are what they are......but it doesn't mean I don't love you it just means it is ME complications and all...

Here have another :cocktail......the lines of song artist continues and to what I am personally able to reveal will be revealed.....

The next two songs are "still" from the Eagles.......I've been in places in my life that each of these songs could have fit at any given time.......the titles are "Desperado" and "Life In The Fast Lane" no mind or reason with either or time frames just a part of my "dirty" history of one's life.

*For the record the only drug I ever dabbled in, which was in High School, was marijuania* Hell if I'm going to come clean publicily might as well be honest about it all...

In the times where "Desperado" has become so moving to me is through family at times but more importantly from friends........friends can be brutal at times when they are right, but that makes them not only friends, but family!!!

The first friend who brought "Desperado" to my attention about my personailty is a person who lives in Canada, I've never laid eyes on except through a photograph, but to date has been the best friend only one wishes they could have in real life. Through him, I've allowed myself to open up, obtain friendships I would have never allowed inside my "inner circle". Have they all been "positive in my life" well hello HELL NO.....but for the majority........OMG YES!!!

Yet, a song from their "Hells Frezze Over" cd, I thought would describe another relationship in my life until I laid eyes on Steve aka "speedbump", this song truly sums up our life. "Love Will Keep Us Alive".............speedbumb baby enjoy it while you can, you of all people know how rare this is :smile.

And when I hear the song by Elton John....."When You Love Someone" I always think of my Canadian friend.......he made me realize somehow I was loveable....and through his faith and friendship I found my husband.....and trust me it was not an easy task for my Canadian friend nor my husband to give me the ability to open up.

I've been accused in the past and present of "inability of trusting". I'll never deny that, when I trust it for me is "sacraied"....not easily given.......I've only been screwed over very few times when I have given out that trust....and I can call by name the one's who have failed in the trust ability, yet, I've allowed them to blame me. Not my problem nor will I take responsibility of it...I am who I am...I make no excuses!!!!

Then brings my wondering mind with music to another song......ohhh the people I could say have made sure this never happened to me in my life time.....my friends, family and husband.........a song that when ever I hear it I immediatly begin tearing up......which is something I DON'T DO............

Again Elton John, what an artist!!!! The song....."Don't Let The Sun Go Down".....OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all I can say........my husband, my "TRUE" friends, my family, have NEVER allowed the sun to go down on me when I could see the sunset in the horizion. After the death of my Grandpa so many years ago and now the recent death of my Grams.........when I hear this song.......I may look at sunsets, but never will I feel the sun go down.....they make sure I'm surrounded by such love, from my husband and friends that someone is always there to pick me up, yet, sometimes I wish I could see myself and not someone else....is that selfish of me?

Then when I hear songs about my husband............from George Straight, "Carrying Your Love With Me", before we ever married. Remembering watching a 6'4 man go down a walk way in tears, and only watching his lips say in a whisper, only he and I understood, "I Love You", and the tear that trinkled down his eye. *Deep breath* I knew I loved him from the first time I laid eyes on him, but in times like that, me being me, I'd smile and yell "Yeah RIGHT", because anything else I'd have broken down and KNEW he'd never go back to his life to comfort me.

Even if I doubted it, he reproved it after us being married, when he adopted my son. That was not an easy task, as my ex-husband was paying child support, visiting, and the like. My ex-husband made my son ask him for the adoption.....but I'll never forget when this song became poplular.......why you ask? Because it was this song that my son at the time age 11, played it, and with tears in eyes and said that is Steve mama....he's my daddy.......The artist Brad Paisley, the song title, "He Didn't Have To Be".

Do my husband and I live in a glass house "HELL NO". No one can be married to ME and not expect turmoil!!! I'm a bitch!!! Prime example Meredith Brooks sang a song titled simply "Bitch". When my children at the time aged 13 and 2 heard the song and said "MAMA THAT IS YOU" pretty much sums it all up right? Sad but true!!!

But when I hear the song from Christina Aguilera "What A Girl Wants" makes me think of my husband. Because when he proposed to me the first THREE times I laughed and said ohh yeah baby I'm there NOT...........not the "Bitch" commentary!!!!

I could go on......but in the end is all about my children, friends and husband and parents........but Aaron Tipion sings TWO songs that sums up our marriage......they are titeled......"Always Was" and "The Best Love We Ever Made"

Now some Reba, Anita Baker, Motown music, can move me like none other than "SHAG" music I am from the Carolina's after all........or my "strip" music as "speedbump" calls it.........let your imaginations run wild as that is as close as you'll get to that type music :lol.

But now you have as much of an insight I'll allow into me......as a person, feelings and life lines........have another :cocktail because God knows I need one.........note the non mention of Gospel music which is the core of my being.....not willing to share that much people!!!! Get what you can take :smile

In summary, people go through so much in their lives, let so much affect them that is in the end beside the point, as speedbump said to me over 5 years ago.....Love Will Keep Us Alive..........and I believe him!!!! I've found trust, I've found love, I've found friends......there was a time I thought I'd Never find one of those items......but through my Canadian friend, yet more importantly speedbump, I've found what makes a person happy and have in the end found unfaltering die hard friendships!!!!!!!!! In the end, I"m a lucky woman who DOES NOT live in a glass house.....I'm who I am......complications and all.....but I'm ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nite all and for the road have a :cocktail!!! Stay safe more importantly stay loved and happy!!!!

I've tried years to lay to rest. North Carolina again has a plant for no apparent reason has exploded leaving at least two confirmed at the moment dead and many other wounded.

According to the news tonight they are saying this plant is noted for many safety violations.

Why does this story bring back nightmares for myself? When I first got my divorce from my first husband, I moved back home to be closer to my parents, raising a baby boy at the time. I landed a very good paying job for a single mother, doing payroll, bill of ladings, inventory control and all other office management duties for a processing plant. It was the day after a long weekend, Labor Day weekend to be exact in 1991.

It was a morning that I had to go inside the plant, since my office was across the street in it's own little building, and do a complete inventory. In all honesty, I had a hang over from hell, I was sick to my stomach from way too much alcohol, sunburned from spending the weekend at the beach, my parents had just gotten back into town with my son the night before late, and I had the headaches of all headaches.

Outside of feeling like hell, I obviously didn't want to be at work, I wanted to spend the day with my little boy, but agreed with my boss whom I was friends with, I'd at least come in and conduct the inventory and inventory report then I was leaving.

A childhood friend of mine came into my office that work inside the plant and asked if I'd relieve her of her duties so that she could help me conduct inventory. I jumped on that chance for help so that my time at work would be over quickly. I picked up my paperwork and walked across the street to being what I knew was only going to send my headache into scream mode from all the equipment to begin my job. I told my childhood friend to go on into the plant and begin the inventory process for me as I was going to stop inside the owners office and dig up some advil for my head.

I walked in his office, he informed me to go back across the street to get my advil and I had a call on line one I HAD to take since the main office lost a month's worth of inventory reports and were in the middle of the audit.

Cussing the whole way I walked out of his office across the street ~ found my advil took it ~ picked up line one and heard I need this YESTERDAY and the list began and then suddenly the line went dead. I heard screaming, saw people running in front of my window, I'm standing there thinking WTF?

Then I see my boss jumping out of his office window screaming OMG CALL 911 the plant is about to blow!!!!

That is why watching this comenitary of this plant in North Carolina, two hours away from where the plant I worked exploded, the photo's, the horror and then the knowledge of not following safety regulations, it could have all been provented, is a nightmare that is hard for me to forget.

In the explosion and fire I was involved in I lost 10 life long friends *including the one who asked to help me do the inventory*, 15 single mothers, and 4 mother and father lose their lives. I remember my daddy running full speed down the road blocks when seeing me at the age of 60 after a heart acke, I remember seeing my mama skidding to a breaking hault after hearing it on the news at school. The things you remember are ironic ~ I also remember being the one having to tell the grandparents of the couples they were gone and return what belongs were saved.

Sorry I'm rambling.....just affected........

Well I finally found the commercials from the Super Bowl ~ watching some of them I found one that immediately made me think "this is something "speedbump" would do no doubt in my mind. Note: I can also see MadBull and Dr. D doing this after reading their blogs :lol. Since it won't allow me to take just one commercial and post it here I will post the whole site to view them all.

The commerical to which I'm talking about go to "Fourth Quarter", the last commercial from Budwiser called "Yoga". Yupe that would be our boys :lol.

Interesting to write about and link you to view. Actually, I found several things, but I'll only make it one thing at a time.

Okay first the update ~ well after much searching I finally found where they made a brief notation that the bomb scare last night was exactly that a scare. It was a box wrapped up to look like a bomb, but the explosive team after further investigation announced it was harmless. Yet, they are trying to find the person who left the little package.

Now to what else I found of interest. With the threat of war and more troops shipping out the article talks about something other than hugs and well wishes some of the male troops are leaving their spouses.

At first when I saw the headline, I thought, man how morbid. But after reading it and also being an ex wife of a military man understandable not so morbid. I found it interesting I know it wouldn't be something I'd think about if I had the threat of my hubby leaving off to war if he could provide me with another child. Yet, for those who want more kids or children and haven't had them to date, it is a smart move.

None of us know our mortality and even more uncertain with issues pending before us at this time in our lives. Like I said found it interesting :smile

I was reading blogs tonight came across some great commentary, but also found this really cool test that I immediately called "T" to tell her she needed to so take this test!!! Here are my results

Which OS are You?

Of course found and stole this off of this site.

Now to the second part of this post ~

Can anyone say WAY TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT? Watching the evening news, Late Breaking News Flash came in, they have evacuated a large area just down the street from our house because of a bomb!!! Yeah I'm reading along ignoring the TV here our local area in this news flash turn to "speedbump" and say should we be worried? Of course his smart ass remark was no they should if they knock off your internet connect ~ *rolling eyes*. No seriously, we don't know much right now, still waiting to hear more information to come in or a loud explosion. One of the two things to happen.

I was watching Dateline tonight on TV where they are discussing the doctor in Florida who is accused of killing his wife. It is one of their court TV discussion anyways, I got bored quickly ~ will be signs for my evening with the President about to be on TV and after that we have the honor *rolling eyes* of listening for HOURS media commentary ~ to agree or disagree yada yada yada ~

Anyhoot, I decided to go surfing on the net and ran across this particular article. What this article is you read the begining of this trip that really happened and at particuliar points in the story you click and choose what choice you would have made in the situation. Then it continues on with the story stating rather you were right or not.

Maybe I'm really bored that I found this interesting but what they hey right give it a lookie see anyways :smile

I'm wide awake from drifting in and out all weekend from one's concious mind. Yet, now I'm fully concious of my surroundings, yet more importantly, blessings. Enjoy this "mushy" post while you can trust me it is rare.....

I listen to my hubby behind me, for once not snoring, and I think he is finally resting peacefully the first time in nights, he isn't snoring and OMG I'm wide awake I'm a fool!!!!

I had to let my dogs out of the prospective beds they took "territory" of in my childrens rooms. My little Ms. Prissy......who now has what mama had all weekend, suffering miserable, sound asleep finally, uncovered. I open her door let one of the furry beast out and she wakes up, I walk inside her room to lay her back down in bed, cover her up and in her sleepiest of tones whispers "Mama, have I told you how much I love you Mama, love muffin".....I whisper back in her ear, yes baby all the time yet not enough and mama loves you too my love muffin.....

I open my oldest son's door to let another of the two furry beast out.....he is trying to sleep but wide awake.....he whispers....."mama, I love you and am so proud you are my mama"..........

I let all four furry beast out of my house and reflect......how lucky am I. I finally have found a husband, *note for the record hubby: enjoy this post WHILE YOU CAN, you speedbump*, who took on more than most men would take on, adopted, calls his own, and also accepts ex inlaws, and biological ties into his home. Loves him, would lay down his life for him just as he would his own flesh and blood daughter.

For me, he is very protective, never stands up for me publicily unless I refuse too, and will never falter to correct me if I'm wrong, publicily or privately. Causes for many "issues" in our household because hey lets face it I'm always right.

Outside of my good fortune of finding such a wonderful husband and so many wonderful friends, my best fortune lies within my children. I sometimes forget what a blessing they have been in my life and continue to be in my life. The unconditional love those two give me swells my heart up with so much pride sometimes it is hard to breath. However the temper they cause in me on a good day, I have a lot of breath and freely express it.

But it is those "butterfly" kisses in the night, the deep sighs, the whispers of "I love you"..........man those KILL ME......

I'm a very "tightly wound" emotional person, I'll be the first to tell you, not much affects me, just ask "speedbump", but my kids and my parents, and on more occassions than I'll give him credit even "speedbump" touch my heart to the core of my being.

Over the last few months, I've had a lot of time to think, reflect, and evaluate. In that time, I've found my "TRUE FRIENDS" and found out that most of them are my family, "MY TRUE LOVES" again my family, but more importantly I finally found MYSELF. That alone is what I'm most proud of except for the fact, in finding the true loves and true friends, they will no longer be taken for granted for as they have been in the past.

Hubby is rolling around saying he misses me....aaaawwwwwww ain't that sweet.....ummm the answer is still NO........

tomorrow is yet another day..........

Sit back grab a :cocktail on the house or stop reading now....either way I care not....but some things have to be addressed.

I am who I am ~ I make no excuses or allowances about my personailty, nor will I allow anyone make me feel I have to apologize for who I am. I'm a very complicated person, I've always known that, my poor husband knows that better than anyone, but the two people who know it best are my parents. I have many friends who's insight I rely on to point out things that those who are so close to me are not afraid to point out or choose not to point out, and then I have some friends or as my daddy calls them "fair weather friends" whom are all to eager to point out my discrepancies *however you spell it* in life. Yet note some of my best friends have no problem telling me I'm wrong and they are usually right..and I do listen.

No longer will I complain about others comments about me or their view points of me, my family, or my character. I have been held captive in the hell of what people have thought about me most my life, and as much as I have gained control of my life, I have allowed people online to do that I no longer allow people in REAL life to do to me.

It appears that I have swaped worlds, as far as verbal abuise is concerned. I don't know why I allow it, maybe because I hear, , or I hear, evaluate and inturpe in myself "you are a better person than them and TRY to ignore it", or that I just ignore it in hopes it goes away. Actually, it dosn't matter the reason I've allowed it to affect me and I no longer will allow it to affect me personally, privately, or any other mannerism *however you spell it*.

There comes a time in everyone's life where indifference is one's best weapon. Indifference meaning ~ screw the world you are who you are ~ accept your faults, your strong suits and more importantly EMBRACE those who see your faults and love you beside the fact.

I'm now taking on that embrace.........if I become the devils worse spawn even seperated from the devil in one's blog.........*shrugs* so be it.......life at least my life will move on....

I lived with much anger in my life for years after my divorce, you would have thought I would have learned from that to accept people for what they are instead of taking personal their opinions to which in at the end of the day "don't matter". Yet, I did in some areas, but in other's I didn't. Now I'm learning, slowly, but learning..........and what I've learned.......I'm tired of being the whipping block.....some one's bitch mode to the worse of degrees publicly......my life is exactly that MY life......I make no excuses or allowances....it is MY life. And for someone to begin chipping away at what has taken me years to build up in trust towards others, if "I" allow it I have no one but myself to blame and I NO longer will allow it.......

Will some things if gotten back to me affect me? I'm human OF COURSE THEY WILL, but I have enough faith in myself, my friends and my family, that I'll weather through that storm and in the end "I'll" be stronger, my friendships will be strong, and my family will be stronger without those people who live in glass houses surrounding us.......

Have I ever told a lie? HELL YES!!! Have I ever told a lie that was hurtful and vengeful HELL YES!!! AM I RIGHT? HELL NO.....will I apologize NO MORE!!!!

Call me Sybil, call me a bitch, just plain dislike me or like me.........I no longer care, those who KNOW ME not only like me but love me and my family. I have many different personas *again however you spell it*..........my online life is not what I'm about, it is just a small portion of my life, a form of entertainment as well as relief from things that may be going on in my life.

My personal life is EXACTLY THAT.......MY personal life........I don't share my financial situations with anyone, my sexual or lack of sexual preferences with anyone, except in fun, and I surely will no longer make excuses for issues that happen in real life that trickle onto the net.

I am who I am and I no longer will allow anyone else to hold me captive for my positive points, my faults, or anything else. I NOW take control of my life. From here on out, issues of this nature will NO longer be allowed for discussion on my blog nor will I allow comments on this post.

I'm taking a hard core look into my life, my family, and my friendships, I'm standing up for myself, and it has been a hard long road for me, but I'm learning to trust people again. The people I trust are the core of me because that is something I do not freely give and they know it.......they do not always agree with me, true friends never do agree on everything, nor family for that matter, but the love and RESPECT is always there. I'm now DEMANDING respect and in turn I'll freely return the respect if actions call for it.

I've apologized to people for actions I don't feel I was completely wrong in, I"ve beaten myself up about it as I've allowed them to beat me up about it and I NO LONGER WILL BE SOMEONE'S whipping board so they feel better about themselves.

I OWN my own feelings, thoughts, religion, family and friends. Okay I don't OWN my family and friends, but surely you understand the concept. I do however OWN how I'll allow them to make me feel from now on and from now on I stand in my own space ~ speak my own mind ~ and protect what I feel needs to be protected and right now I need to protect me!!!

AGAIN I'll state, no comments are allowed on this post so don't even try......thank you for listening to me vent.........enjoy the rest of my post from here on out....

I got this from ONE of my dear friends tonight......this pretty much sums it all up in a nut shell....

He Held You

You are the nucleus and the fire in His eyes from the beginning of time,

So much so that He decided to speak your existence from the power of His lips, as He exhaled you gently into your mother’s womb.

He watched out for you,

So much so that He charged a legion of angles to guard your rest against the midnight storm that come to so often to vibrate the four towers of your bedroom wall.

He raised you,

Raised you like no one else, for He protected your identity from being tainted and bruised, too late I say, for He has already opened His mouth, and said “It is finished” for behold He looked upon you and said, “It is good”,

So much so that every now and then He requests that you and He be alone,

And though to you, you may misunderstand, and think it strange to find that around you though populated with people,

Yet you are affixed with Him,

like an eagle that solemnly soars in the sky, at times you may stand-alone.

Your life is a mere exhale of His breath from the dawn of time.

To Him you stand with your identity sure, a son, a daughter of the most High God.

Marvelous in His eyes.

Written by: Savaslas Lofton

To know this information........

What kind of person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I stole this from "T's" site ~ she and I laughed about this test that has taken me awhile to get too ~ yet, after reading the questions I began to wonder what exactly it would tell me according to the results what my personailty would be HA ~ it seemed more geared towards men.......I guess I should make hubby take it to see how he comes out shouldn't I :lol.

Well those that know me know how true this test result is ~ those that don't well it is offical I'm a bitch, but hey I have a good heart, does that count??? :smile

In all honesty, when I read this, I had to laugh. I am working hard on my battle to stop smoking and I have just about licked it, but at least I'm smart enough to know "I'm" the one who made the choice to light up "NO ONE" forced them on me.

I mean you have to be really stupid or just don't care about what you are doing to the justice system to bring such a frivilious *however you spell it* suit.

When are people going to own up for their own decisions in life, the ramfications of those decisions and not hold the company making the cigarettes accountable for making a profit off our stupidity.

It isn't like they don't give warnings. Even in the packs of cigarettes before you open them they have a full write up you have to remove that goes into detail about the affects of smoking, not to smoke if you are pregnant and warnings in reference to second hand smoke.

People who becom alcoholics and recover aren't bring suits against the companies who make alcohol so why is it allowed for people who choice to smoke allowed to bring such suits?

It isn't going to make people stop smoking that is a personal decision to begin and personal decision to stop just as in anything else in life.

So because Charmin advertises it is the softest toliet tissue on the market and you use it and your ass gets chapped does that mean it is open season to sue the company? Yeah I know far fetched comparision, but is it really?

Do these people have nothing else to worry about and can not live up to the decisions THEY made in thier life they have to lash out at others? Common sense goes a long way and if you don't have any common sense well in honesty your screwed. Just my thoughts on the issue.

Just wonderful let me tell ya. Little Ms. Prissy Pot now has this nasty cold, flu or whatever it is running ramped in our home. She was up half the night because she couldn't breath and she was trying so hard to hear me, but since my voice is barely working and her head stopped up ~ communication lacked terribly.

My snuggle babies aka the dogs helped to keep me warm while having the chills, but she won't have any part of them in her bed. Screams bloody murder "Mom, they are making me sick, make them leave". I personally think hubby is anxious to get to work today. Spending all weekend playing nurse to me, cleaning the house, doing laundry, all the cooking he needs to go to work to get a vacation.

When letting out the snuggle babies this am I felt the blast of cold air still hovering around our neck of the woods :angry. I thought the weather man said it was to warm up again humpf WHEN?

Little Ms. Prissy has taken her medicine and now laying back down hopefully she'll drift back off to sleep so mama can get back under some warm blankets tucked in by all my dogs and get some rest too before I have to get up and start my week progress of cleaning ~ yeah boy howdy I feel up to doing just that NOT! But it is something that must be done I'm afraid.

Well my hubby has given me his sore throat and cold, well more his sore throat which is now all the way in my chest. T and L said I was very boring since I found no humor in life yesterday today is even worse. At least I could talk yesterday, today, well it hurts to breath much less talk!!! UUGHHHHHHH!!!

But I did however manage to find something of interest. When one can't talk it is either sleep or surf the net since NOTHING is on TV and I'm not a big sleeper once I'm awake.

I hope you enjoy this I sure did! It is in reference to what the Illinois Governer did hours before leaving office, in giving every inmate on Death Row, a blanket release off Death Row. Then went on Oprah and announced that he knew that most of the men on Death Row are guilty, but he couldn't very well release one and not the others........*raising eyebrow* and WHY NOT?????????? If one is guilty and you find one who isn't ~~~~~

Anyways Dateline put this site up where you can read their actual letters and allows you to determine what you would do in such a case.

I didn't get through all of it but I am hoping too once I'm back to normal or well as normal as I get :lol.

Tonight.......and not a "bad" enlightening conversation with this person.......

The person in question brought out positions and points that I didn't want to hear but yet so TRUE to my personaility........only to contribute to the fact that I yet again have failed.......

Not that the person in question ever said I failed they didn't have too it is eveident.........No I WON'T state sex NOR will I EVER reveal whom I talked with.....

Enough damage has been done!!!! Let's just say this............I say to the person in question "THANK YOU" for making me think....."THANK YOU" for making me realize I was wrong on MANY, okay, MAJORITITY of issues, and hopefully eventually, we move pass this......

Good nite

No comments needed......please!!!!!

Are you afraid? Well, I am, I just hope that I can put into words what I seem to take much thought and time over in my life.

In my readings of other blogs, and the people who comment in their blogs, I read about people who have gone through hard times, tramtic times, and fun times and through everything as individuals they have prevailed. Yet, in reading them, it makes me start thinking about my life, and I am always amazed at how I have prevailed in my life.

As I read blogs and comments, it always proves to me what my parents have always told me growing up and as an adult, there is always someone out there who has it much worse than you and is still living to talk about it.

My daddy is a minister, in case some of my readers are unaware, my mama a school teacher, raised by a minister. My family consist of well nothing short of 15 preachers ~ I'm being very short in my counting those are the one's that immediately pop to mind. So religion is obviously, rather I practice it or not, a very close subject to me.

Also through religion, I am always amazed, at the way people react to situations. I have friends who are "somewhat" religious who handle situations so much better than I and I have read about strangers who have endured the worst offenses to one's life that I just sit at my computer in tears hurting for them thinking OMG they are SO MUCH better than I. Yet, they aren't, they have just found a way to deal with issues I myself have not had to deal with. But yet, they have my admiration from afar.

Many things have gone on in my life, and no I won't go into detail about what those issues are, but my life has been affected from all the issues causing me to sit back and "think", "re-evaluate", and in the end "see" things for what they are ~

In these times I have found out, the fair weather friends, the friends no matter what my screw ups are still standing beside me, my family, that I called dysfunctional, and a part of me still believes, but yet, through the dysfunction, I found the core of my person. My children, the wonder they give me not to mention the days they give me where I want drugs but life without them I couldn't imagine.

Then my friends, *shaking head*, I know I can not give them justice, in the past three months, I have found out my dysfunctional family is no different from any other family, and my friends, my TRUE friends, are hard core to the end. Nothing like a life altering issue to find out who your "true" friends are.

My husband and I live a good life, are we rich? HELL NO by no means of the word. My husband is the SOLE bread winner in the family, I'm a stay at home mom. This is a decision that my husband and I made when we found out I was prego with my youngest. Are there times that we wonder how we are going to pay the bills, put food on the table, and keep all the luxuries of life our family is accustomed too HELL YES ~ but somehow we manage.

These things are what bring a smile to my face when I feel the world is closing in on my life. These things make me know I can make it, my family can make it, my kids will be better for the decisions we've made as husband and wife when I see them comforted in the fact mama is always home. I don't need to take a test to find out what kind of mother, friend, wife or child I am, I have many a role models in my life as being a mother. Through them I know I'm doing a good job. But the greatest gift I get is from my children, when they out of the blue just walk up and say "mama thank you" give me a kiss and walk off saying "just because". When my friends support me when I'm right, but when I'm wrong the first one's to make sure I know it and why and EXPECT and GET the much appropriated apology. (note: tact is not my strong suit). And my husband, taking on so many issues and baggage and still loving me.

My husband, whom I always throw under the bus, execpt in this post, has taken on more than I'm sure than he signed on for in life. I'm not easy to live with, I'm not easy to be friends with and I'm even less easy to be a parent too. Mushy is not my strong suit ~ but I'll try and get as mushy as I can here ~ my husband has endured my temper tantrums that have nothing to do with him but he winds up being the sounding/punching chest that catches the brunt end of everything.

I had my husband read this post to this point and asked him, does it sound okay, make sense and the like, and he said yes, but your point?

My point is this, I've posted before many times over about my feelings about friendships, the sad but wonderful thing is, I can count my TRUE friends on one hand. Their friendships; I'd lay down my life to protect them. But my point in this post is about my family, close and extended.

What they have given me in my life and I look back in what trouble I've caused them to call me family, I'm appalled. They have never once thought of turning their back on me, but they just accepted me for me. I've not always been so "giving". To them, I want to give them a HUGE THANK YOU!!!! The reasons they know, and reasons I'll never reveal on here.

To many, this post makes no sense, maybe even to me, but to those who know me best, it makes perfect sense. I'm not one to discuss things close to my heart openly. I'm not one to brag or bitch openly in this type forum, I'm very close to my vest about the essecense of my life. Only those who know me very well know what this post means and to everyone else, I'm sorry to have you read through this to get no point.

Maybe I can leave you with something ~ something that was sent to me today.....

Isn't it strange?

... a lot to think about
... read it, receive it, apply it and let it bless you.

Isn't it strange how a 20 dollar bill
seems like such a large amount when
you donate it to church, but such a
small amount when you go shopping?

Isn't it strange how 2 hours seem so
long when you're at church, and how
short they seem when you're watching
a good movie?

Isn't it strange that you can't find a word
to say when you're praying, but you have
no trouble thinking what to talk about with
a friend?

Isn't it strange how difficult and boring it is
to read one chapter of the Bible, but how
easy it is to read 100 pages of a popular
novel?

Isn't it strange how everyone wants front-
row-tickets to concerts or games, but they
do whatever is possible to sit at the last row
in Church?

Isn't it strange how we need to know about
an event for Church 2-3 weeks before the

day so we can include it in our agenda, but we
can adjust it for other events in the last minute?

Isn't it strange how difficult it is to learn a
fact about God to share it with others, but how
easy it is to learn, understand, extend and repeat
gossip?

Isn't it strange how we believe everything that
magazines and newspapers say, but we
question the words in the Bible?

Isn't it strange how everyone wants a place in
heaven, but they don't want to believe, do, or
say anything to get there?

Isn't it strange how we send jokes in e-mails
and they are forwarded right away, but when we
are going to send messages about God, we think
about it twice before we share it with others?

IT'S STRANGE ISN'T IT?

Need I say more? Isn't it strange?

Without my children in tow I might add!!!

Hubby and I began talking about how badly he and I need a get away just the two of us, which I"m all for, let me tell ya!!! So he told me to start looking into possible trips I'd like to take *BIG SMILE*

Yet, in my search, I didn't realize some of the GREAT deals out there right now. Just a few of my findings.....

Jamacia ~ everything included 800 per person for seven nights. Can anyone say STRONG POSSIBLITY!!! When I told a friend of mine about this trip she laughed and said they don't know you and hubby with your :cocktail

Greece ~ under $600 with a cruise thrown in for three nights $899. Yet another very strong possiblity, but I'm still leaning towards the whole Jamacia issue.

I haven't found as good of deals for Scotland yet, but I'm still looking since we have friends there we'd love to go and visit. Yet, that flight UUGHHHHH, longgggg flight!!!

I'd love to go to Ireland since I'm all Irish and hubby is part Irish. Haven't found anything in that area either, *pout*. Yet, there is a trip both hubby and I have always wanted to take and that is to the land down under. But I'm looking for trips that aren't that expensive right now and when we win the lottery I'll further travel :lol.

I've found many news worth items I've thought about posting, but I'm sure just like everyone else, they are tired of hearing about the possiblity of war as I am. Although, the issue going on in the state of Illionis has perked my interest since I use to work in the Department of Corrections, I can't believe what the past Governer did with his "blanket" decision with death row inmates.

I'll cover that in a later post I guess ~ off to enjoy the rare silence in my house everyone went to visit one set of the grandparents to give me peace and quiet YEAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My family is aiding terrorism since they lumped in Van owners also, yet not in the ad to which I will be attaching for you to listen too.

I guess the notation on this ad sums it up best: Jan. 7 -- A familiar commentator has decided the best way to attack SUV drivers is to accuse them of aiding terrorism. True or false, fair or unfair? NBC's Dan Lothian reports.

Can I just WTF?

If you take the time to listen to this video clip from a news broadcast the whole point of it is someone filling up their VEHICLE, but yet they are directing this towards SUV's and Van owners, is aiding in terrorism. So I'm trying to figure out how it all links up to SUV's? Call me blonde, call me stupid but I must be missing the whole point here but other than someone bitching about gas.

Sorry about so many post in one day, let's just sum it up with, it has been a BAD DAY around this household..........but as the musical Annie says "Tomorrow Tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow, it's only a day away!!!".

Hopefully a good nite :smile

However this is a very heart warming post!! Be afraid, the woman with no heart is posting heart warming post.

Having lived in Wyoming and now my third bout with Texas, rodeo's are obviously something that interest me. Here in Ft. Worth the Stock Show is going on and although I haven't made it there this year, I'm hoping to make it before they leave this year.

I found this article in our local paper and thought I'd share with everyone. Maybe due to this person's disease is what caught my eye or maybe I have found a heart ~ who knows ~ whatever the case I thought I'd share this story with my few readers.

You'd think me being a stay at home mom that I'd be able to control all the dust bunnies that collect around one's house. Yet, I can't control the laundry bunnies from mating in my laundry room so how could I fool myself into thinking I could control the dust bunnies?

My normal week consist of picking a room a day and cleaning it. That is reasonable one would think, except, I've become my mother. Every woman's nightmare but even worse for me because I'm WORSE than my mother if at all possible.

There is not a spare space on my walls or furniture from all the "dust collectors" my husband calls them. And after each holiday, anniversary, or birthday I always have more to find space to put more and well I need a larger house.

Plus it doesn't help that I'm like Monica on Friends sit com, everything has a place and when I walk in the room I can tell if it has been moved without even studying the room. My husband loves playing that game with me usually to piss me off. Which basically leaves me to be the only individual who can dust the house because everyone is fearful of not placing things back just so in my house.

I'm my worse enemy I know ~ I want to get someone to come in and help me get this house done the way I like it done, but like my hubby pointed out, last time I got a maid I bitched, moaned and got up and cleaned after she left. He is right I'm afraid.

My daughter, bless her little cute heart, she so tries to help mama, which I should really be happy about, but she winds up leaving more finger prints and smears than any help.

So with all my dust bunnies over taking my house today I decided screw it let them take us all away then maybe if they send me completely over the edge they'll move on to someone else's house and I can once again live in peace......:smile

I feel better now ~ thanks for listening to me rant :lol

Well once again in my reading the paper I came across another article I thought I'd share ~ I'd love to get Dr. D's views on this one!!

All I can say is I can not even begin to imagine what this woman went through thinking she had an agressive cancer and having the procedure completed and then finding out "ohhh we are really sorry, but we were wrong". WTF?

Which also brings me to this question, "What about the woman who DOES have this agressive type of cancer ~ do they know who she is???"

If not how on earth do they narrow it down to let this woman know before it is too late.

I know all to well about being misdiagnosed, years back I was told I had agressive MS only to find out, it was a lab mix up. I had to under go over a year of testing, medications, only to find out I was having mini strokes. That has all been cleared up, but it took me going to several different doctors before one decided to keep me in the hospital for the symptoms to accure and have a brain scan done.

Doing that they discovered, I do indeed have a brain, and that it all of my symptoms were the direct result from the mini stokes that were all stress related. Yet, I went for 6 months, as a single mother, thinking I had agressive MS, making arrangements for my son and dogs thinking I didn't know how long I still had left. But even going through all that I could not even begin to understand the fear that gripped this woman when hearing the findings of the test that she had presented to her.

I know doctor's aren't God or much less perfect but I'd much rather have a doctor to be very certain of my results than to happen to me what happened to these women.

As I stated earlier, I'd love to hear Dr. D's views on this item and advise how people can avoid such things happening to them.

Prayer wheel for our soldiers...please don't break it
Please send this on after a short prayer.
Prayer Wheel
"Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts theyperform for us in our time of need.
I ask this in the name of Jesus, ourLord and Savior. Amen."
Prayer Wheel: When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a
prayer for our troops in Afghanistan, and around the world.
There is nothing attached.... This can be very
powerful.... Just send this to all the people in your address book. Do not stop the wheel, please.... Of all the gifts you could give a US Soldier, Sailor, Airman, Marine & others deployed in harm's way, Prayer is the very best one. I noticed that as I forwarded this...another eagle was added!! Neat!!

This was sent to me from a very dear friend requesting that I forward it on to as many people as possible so I figured this was as good a place than ever to post it.

With the all the uncertainty upon us and for all the troops already protecting us and those that were just deployed this prayer is for you as well as your families who wait for your return.

I found this slide show on msn after posting this and thought it appropriate to put here. Thank you T and L for your help in getting this link love you guys *kiss kiss smooch smooch*

May it find everyone safe.

I mean really you would think that people would have learned from all the distruction during the ralies for Civil Rights in the 60's. I know I don't want to live through such acts that people did towards other people nor do I want my children to have to go through that as I believe every person is my equal.

So after reading the paper yesterday and then the news today needless to say I was astounded in finding out that the Racial gap is still wide. In today's news this article about school segregation caught my attention since I have a child in the school system. I don't want my children to think or feel that someone else is better or less than them I want them to respect each individual as they require respect for themselves.

Then yesterday I read this article in the local paper and was astounded at the difference that is placed on color.

For countries to pull together and stand as one during this time of possible war, how on earth and why can they not pull together and stand as one every day other than war? It makes no sense to me and bothers me greatly that people of different ethnic groups are treated so differently.

Views on VW Bugs????

Does anyone know anything about them??? The newer models.......I WANT one!!!!!!!!

The children I was watching now safely tucked away at their own home with my daughter in tow. My son and husband spent the day at select baseball try outs and my son made the team. And I home alone with my four dogs with the best of intentions of finishing up the house cleaning.

Well I decided I wanted a margaritta and listen to my new stand up comic CD I got for Christmas of Rodney Carrington. So my afternoon consisted of listening, drinking a drink and doing very few odd's and ends between out burst of laughter.

I will soon have to make a trip and save my friend, hopefully after today she'll still love me, to gather up my daughter to bring home. And will enjoy the fact she is worn slap out from playing rough with three boys all day and will go directly to bed after her bath. Which will mean a very peaceful night.

Both kids will be home tomorrow, the schools don't believe in giving a parent a rest long after Christmas holiday. Then about a week later my oldest will be out of school for a week on winter break. That is when my ex inlaws are coming to visit. That will be good though since both my kids love the whole grandparent issue happening from any form or fashion.

I considered posting something thoughtful to one's mind and then I figured nahhhh I'll post Rodney Carrington's website that if you haven't heard him before you can hit "Audio Clips" on his website and hear some of his stuff. Mind you they are SHORT clips, I have some saved, so if interested email me priavtely and I'll send you some.

Okay note "T" for some reason when I do the whole url issue it screws up my post.....GRRRR....help!!!!

Hope you all enjoy!!!

Dr. D ~ didn't feel you were bashing me you were being honest and I like that plus you didn't say anything that was incorrect!!! I'm going to beat this!!! Thanks for the post and visit.

In trying to keep my sanity this evening since I agreed to babysit three boys adding to the two wild children I already have and also trying to spring house clean in the dead of winter. I locked myself away with my computer to find something of interest to read other than watching every tv in the house taken up with PS2 games and Disney DVD's.

In reading about hard drives being purchased on ebay where data had not been deleted as thought from the person who sold the hard drives, an article I found very interesting. As it also shares about companies who are resaleing the hard drives with everyone's personal information, to include credit card information from their clients. If you are interested in learning more of what they had to say http://www.msnbc.com/news/859843.asp?0cl=cR. After reading that I found a link about China making blogging illegal.

Now I found this article equally intersting http://www.msnbc.com/news/859819.asp. I figured since we are a world of bloggers from all walks of life that you yourselfs might find this intersting and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this issue....

I soooooooo want a cigarette right now I can't see straight!!!!! I'm cranky, I'm highly violatial, I'm in a craving mode and I'm doing my best NOT to give in!!!! But ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I want one so badly and of course my children are pushing me to my limits of sanity, my husband is still at work, and my dogs are just bugging me to death!!!! I just called hubby told him GET HOME NOW ~ I'm sure he'll rush to my demand :rofl now that is comical I must admit!!!

All I have to say is WHAT WAS I THINKING ABOUT GIVING UP SMOKING???? Someone help me here please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just hung up with my daddy to find out that my mama got a certified letter today. This particular letter was to inform her that she has been nominated for Teacher of the year. As well as there were six winners and she is one of the six winners!!!

I've always known that she deserved this honor but now she got confirmation yet again in her carrer as a teacher. She has won this honor several other times in her over 30 years of teaching, but with all that has gone on the past several months, I think she really needed a boost in her ego and views on life!!!

As the title says I'm having a very proud daughter moment!!!

HA and to think I know you were thinking my kids!!!! :rofl

Ohhh well, they'll come later, when in better standing with mama!!! :smile

Here are three of the babies in question of the seven.....not I'm including children, dogs, and hubby on the seven!!!!!

The first photo says it all.....Here is Charlie......I obtained Charlie by default actually....he is a registered Shar Pai male dog. Not the baby via years in this house, but the baby via pecking order.

He was abused before wandering into my garage after a tornato. He is my baby!!! He is very protective of me and my youngest and very loyal....oh well all my dogs are very loyal, but Charlie I have no doubt, you'd have to kill him before you could get to either me or my youngest child.

Here is Charlie.......on my side of the bed no less......but now by my feet while I am typing this .......AIN'T HE CUTE!!!!

View image

Now we move on to Bruno, my black lab, who I have raised from a puppy. When I lived in NC, a friend came by asking if I'd dog sit. Okay I thought no problem I love dogs. Little did I know what I was taking on, which is eveident, since now he is an adult black lab, and very much in my care still.

I refer to Bruno as the sap of the family, he loves everyone, but if he feels the "family" is threatened, well LOOK OUT, it gets ugly!!!

I helped nurse him through parvo, at a young age, and now he has obtained Epalipsy, so is on medication. I am constantly working my life around his medication, trips, I make sure stress level is as low as possible for him and someone is here at all times. He's my baby too you know....anyways here is Bruno, in his loyal spot, whenever I'm on the computer....

View image

Now to my "geriatric dog", the love of my life in animals, my Dustin!!! He is a registered Cocker Spaniel whom has lived to date 17 years. Still can see, barely, hear, sometimes, and was just dignoised 6 months ago with kidney failure and according to the vet should not be still alive.

Dustin is male, so he has selective hearing and seeing capablities let me tell ya, because when I took this photo of him tonight, he heard me click the camera open, perked up out of a sound sleep and began standing up before I could click the picture. Typical male!!!

His last check up, the vet was astounded, looked at me and said, "When I died, I want to come back as one of your pet's". The vet told me that although Dustin would eventually die of old age, he was in amazingly good health for 17 years of age, which is unseen in cocker spaniels, and that his kidney failure is a slow process but non painful for him. I could NOT live knowing Dustin was in ANY pain.

Here is my Dustin baby!!!

View image

My fourth dog, Chance, chow/collie mix, whom I refer to as the "gay dog", was sound asleep with his master my oldest child. So I refrained from taking his picture tonight....maybe later.....

As far as my children and hubby, well, I have multipule of photo's of them so I guess you need to stay toned to see the snow captions of my youngest and oldest in a snowball fight with thier Aunt. Thank God we don't get snow in Texas is all I have to say!!!!

Hope you enjoyed ~ good day!!!

I'm posting again!!!!

However something I've always known but never ceases to amaze me is the bond of friendship that I have in my life.

Not just in friends but within my own family. I've learned the hard way from watching other families that is not always a blessing and not one to take for granted.

Yet, with my family so far away, I am just as equally blessed to have dear friends in my life that no matter what the issue going on in my life, how large or how small, they are always there and the ironic thing is they seem to know exactly when I need a call and pick up the phone and call!!

I just hope I expess the importance of our friendship back to them in the same treasured acts of "just because". I never want to take for granted my family or my friends as my friends are also like family to mine.

The one's in question know of whom I speak and I just wanted to express a THANK YOU to them for being my friend but more importantly my family.

And it is illegal to kill 'em!! :angry

Not that I ever would, but days like today my nerves are trompled on hard, so the cutiness they have has long since worn off today.

My youngest latest trick she discovered today is locking doors and decided to excersie this new found talent while I was checking the mail and she locked me out of the house.

The clincher of this new found talent of hers is that she doesn't know how to UNLOCK them!!!

I had to have her go to the front windows and unlock them so I could shemie them up to crawl through ~

Can anyone say NOT HAVING A GOOD DAY!!!!!!!!!

Well got a call from the ex in laws last night and confirmed that they will be here the first part of February. They also asked me to check into things that both kids would enjoy doing with them besides shopping because they had already planned to take them shopping.

They consider my youngest one of their grandchildren which I think is great since she is no way related to them.

My husband adopted my oldest child but with the agreement I would never keep the grandparents away from him. I'd not do that to my children no matter what unless they were completely unfit, as I am adopted. My oldest was adopted by his own request at a later age so he already knows the family ties on his biological side and I would not keep him from pursuing his interest in that family if any.

I haven't told the kids yet because basically, I don't want to listen to it for the next few weeks on when they'll be here, what are they going to do, and all the excitment that goes along with it.

Well there is one thing for sure ~ life is never dull around our little neck of the woods.

I'm off to finish babying my plants and repotting some and then back to the never ending battle of laundry.

It dawned on me that I have discussed my Grams and her being a Queen without a Country, her desire to live and her long fight with Lukemia, but I also realized that I had not put a face to her title Grams.

The picture I will be posting was taken Christmas Night 2002, 6 days before she passed away. The night the picture was taken was a good night for her actually and she looked good in comparison.
A woman to be proud to call your Grams, a God fearing woman, a woman who's belief in God and prayer lead her family through many of turmoil and in the end we all stood fast in admiration of a lady who fought a good fight for 91 years. Yet, true to her nature, she NEVER started something she couldn't finish and on New Years Eve she passed away. Making sure not to bring in a New Year that she knew she'd not be able to finish.

I'm proud I had her in my life and she has influenced me beyond any words so here she is MY Grams ~

View image

Man, what a day and my evening doesn't look any better.

When cleaning a house with a three year old I can't stop but thinking, how did my mama do it with two small children and she is a NEAT freak!!!

I've spent my day doing laundry, picking up so I can vacume go and put things up come back in the room only for my three year old to have more stuff brought out and destroying the room again. GEZZZZ

Since we've been back she has done nothing but cry for my mother and my sister n law and hey I'm ready to ship her right on to them. As well as I've come to the conclusion that my laundry room doesn't hold dirty clothes, it is full of mating rabbits and camafloged (however you spell it) as dirty clothes. I don't think I'll ever get to the bottom of my laundry pile UUGHHHHH!!!

Calgon please take me away as long as it doesn't mean a long drive and not locked in a van for days with two children yelling at one another!!!!!

Things do get better ~ right?

It is a long standing joke between one of my father n laws and myself. At Christmas he made it even more official by obtaining an official "flight license" from the Land Of Oz and himself customizing a broom for me. :rofl

Those pictures will be posted at a later date. So when I decided to begin blogging again, I wanted to go with a whole new get up to bring in the new year and what better one than one that has been officially given to me by my father n law Harley.

It was suppose to be titled when first discussed "The Witch Is In and Casting Spells", however, as T pointed out that was a rather lengthy title so we went with the one named on the site. And didn't T do a WONDERFUL job on this!!!!

Thank you T as always you know me too well in what I like :kiss.

For those who don't know, New Years Eve, my Grams died. So our New Year was spent in travel and laying her to rest in another state. Our large family gathered and rallied together in sorrow and somehow finding a bit of happiness of seeing one another.

Our family in itself consist of: 3 children, with spouses, 13 grand children with spouses, 26 great grand children, and one great great grand child. We spent much time together, played together and throw tears found a way to laugh together. Even though our hearts acked with the passing of my Grams, we all knew, she is no longer in pain in the long battle she fought with Lukemia.

We are all now home in our respective states with our immediate families and finding peace with all of what we have undergone. I handled it by doing some physical changes of myself by cutting my hair into a very short and sassy hair cut and for the first time in my life using hair color and putting highlights in my hair. My mother would be proud, since for years she has asked me to put highlights in my hair.

My dogs are happy mama is home, however, they are still in a bit of a huff with me for leaving them in the first place, but slowly but surely they are coming out of it. The bed is more than a bit crowded at night as they are sure to lock me inside the bed as if to say, we are going to make sure you don't leave again woman.

My dog sitter informed me she has no idea how I manage dealing with my dogs, two kids and hubby, since she said it took all she had just taking care of the four spoiled beast. She laughed about their personailties and said they are worse than any child she has ever sat with, I informed her well they are children themselves, just ask them :smile.

Life is slowly resuming back to normal around here but I have no doubt that Grams and Grandpa are right here with me. That makes everything bareable and able to be happy.

Well hello everyone!!!!! I'm back and with a vengence I'm afraid so sit back grab a cocktail and here is one on the house :cocktail!!!

I wanted to begin posting here again on January 1st, however, December 31st an end of an era in my life passed away. So the begining of my year was spent traveling across country to COLD country to bury my Grams. She died 18 years and 2 weeks to the date after my Grandpa and now she lies beside him in eternal rest and through death they are once again together in God's arms.

The whole family once again rallied together in this time of sorrow, but we somehow managed to put past indescressions behind us, come together for several days of tears, love, and in the end laughs. I think Grandpa and Grandma were very happy to see their family joined together and getting along.

And what a family we have MAN!!! I didn't realize there were so many of us ~ let me narrow it down for you to give you somewhat a visual of the amount of people we are discussing here.

The children that Grams birthed that are still alive ~ two daughters and one son, there together with their spouses, and my Uncle from their daughter who has already passed away, 13 grandchildren, with spouses. 26 GREAT grandchildren and one GREAT GREAT grandchild. Nothing short of an army rallying together.

I will not deny that the stress of this trip at times was unbearable, but as a whole in a landslide, it was a good trip. My whole family finally got to meet my whole family as they had not met my husband nor seen my daughter since she was 6 months old. And of course, my husband was a huge hit with the family, which I was not afraid of, he is a very good and loving man.

I was able to spend time with some of my cousins I haven't seen in ages and had great times with them. I even managed to get into snow ball fights with one of my cousins husband. My daughter whom has never seen snow took full advantage of it and enjoyed every moment she could as well as bribing her Aunt out in the cold to build a very sickly looking snowman and then engaged her into a snowball fight.

Our nights consisted of gathering around the fireplace, talking, eating, and enjoying everyone's company. Me being told on a regular basis I was too hard on my children and how well behaved my children were, still don't see that, but hey at least they think my children behave right? :smile

I'm now snuggled deep in my house in Texas and enjoying the warmth Texas offers me. Those who live in Texas are saying "yeah right what warmth", now I just laugh and say after what I just left this is like summer to me right now :lol

My dogs were estatic to see me, but once they got over the initial happiness that mama was safely tucked away in their view, they are now in their respective corners pouting and ignoring me except for Dustin, my loyal geratric baby.

Joannie is so excited about being home and in her own room with her toys we are unable to entice her to bed at almost midnight. She feels she needs to have engaging conversation with each and every toy in her room to let them know she is back home. Ryan I truely believe went through PS2 withdrawls as he walked inside right back to his room and turned on his game and I haven't seen nor heard from him since and Steve is enjoying his couch once again watching DVD's and I back to my faithful but tempermental computer who wanted to crash several times before her realizing ohhh mom it is you okay I"ll run smoothly for you now. :angry

It is hard to comprehend after laying someone so special in my life to rest that I can feel such peace within myself. Maybe I am as cold as my family thinks I am and freely informed me that I was, but then again, maybe I'm just glad to know that my Grams is no longer suffering.

Well I'm wiped out have weeded mostly through my 500 plus emails and posted a hello to everyone on here.......I'm going to bed with my book to take on a new day tomorrow.

sit back, have a :cocktail as Jet would say...she will be returning soon :rofl