A Thought Provoking Moment

Are you afraid? Well, I am, I just hope that I can put into words what I seem to take much thought and time over in my life.

In my readings of other blogs, and the people who comment in their blogs, I read about people who have gone through hard times, tramtic times, and fun times and through everything as individuals they have prevailed. Yet, in reading them, it makes me start thinking about my life, and I am always amazed at how I have prevailed in my life.

As I read blogs and comments, it always proves to me what my parents have always told me growing up and as an adult, there is always someone out there who has it much worse than you and is still living to talk about it.

My daddy is a minister, in case some of my readers are unaware, my mama a school teacher, raised by a minister. My family consist of well nothing short of 15 preachers ~ I'm being very short in my counting those are the one's that immediately pop to mind. So religion is obviously, rather I practice it or not, a very close subject to me.

Also through religion, I am always amazed, at the way people react to situations. I have friends who are "somewhat" religious who handle situations so much better than I and I have read about strangers who have endured the worst offenses to one's life that I just sit at my computer in tears hurting for them thinking OMG they are SO MUCH better than I. Yet, they aren't, they have just found a way to deal with issues I myself have not had to deal with. But yet, they have my admiration from afar.

Many things have gone on in my life, and no I won't go into detail about what those issues are, but my life has been affected from all the issues causing me to sit back and "think", "re-evaluate", and in the end "see" things for what they are ~

In these times I have found out, the fair weather friends, the friends no matter what my screw ups are still standing beside me, my family, that I called dysfunctional, and a part of me still believes, but yet, through the dysfunction, I found the core of my person. My children, the wonder they give me not to mention the days they give me where I want drugs but life without them I couldn't imagine.

Then my friends, *shaking head*, I know I can not give them justice, in the past three months, I have found out my dysfunctional family is no different from any other family, and my friends, my TRUE friends, are hard core to the end. Nothing like a life altering issue to find out who your "true" friends are.

My husband and I live a good life, are we rich? HELL NO by no means of the word. My husband is the SOLE bread winner in the family, I'm a stay at home mom. This is a decision that my husband and I made when we found out I was prego with my youngest. Are there times that we wonder how we are going to pay the bills, put food on the table, and keep all the luxuries of life our family is accustomed too HELL YES ~ but somehow we manage.

These things are what bring a smile to my face when I feel the world is closing in on my life. These things make me know I can make it, my family can make it, my kids will be better for the decisions we've made as husband and wife when I see them comforted in the fact mama is always home. I don't need to take a test to find out what kind of mother, friend, wife or child I am, I have many a role models in my life as being a mother. Through them I know I'm doing a good job. But the greatest gift I get is from my children, when they out of the blue just walk up and say "mama thank you" give me a kiss and walk off saying "just because". When my friends support me when I'm right, but when I'm wrong the first one's to make sure I know it and why and EXPECT and GET the much appropriated apology. (note: tact is not my strong suit). And my husband, taking on so many issues and baggage and still loving me.

My husband, whom I always throw under the bus, execpt in this post, has taken on more than I'm sure than he signed on for in life. I'm not easy to live with, I'm not easy to be friends with and I'm even less easy to be a parent too. Mushy is not my strong suit ~ but I'll try and get as mushy as I can here ~ my husband has endured my temper tantrums that have nothing to do with him but he winds up being the sounding/punching chest that catches the brunt end of everything.

I had my husband read this post to this point and asked him, does it sound okay, make sense and the like, and he said yes, but your point?

My point is this, I've posted before many times over about my feelings about friendships, the sad but wonderful thing is, I can count my TRUE friends on one hand. Their friendships; I'd lay down my life to protect them. But my point in this post is about my family, close and extended.

What they have given me in my life and I look back in what trouble I've caused them to call me family, I'm appalled. They have never once thought of turning their back on me, but they just accepted me for me. I've not always been so "giving". To them, I want to give them a HUGE THANK YOU!!!! The reasons they know, and reasons I'll never reveal on here.

To many, this post makes no sense, maybe even to me, but to those who know me best, it makes perfect sense. I'm not one to discuss things close to my heart openly. I'm not one to brag or bitch openly in this type forum, I'm very close to my vest about the essecense of my life. Only those who know me very well know what this post means and to everyone else, I'm sorry to have you read through this to get no point.

Maybe I can leave you with something ~ something that was sent to me today.....

Isn't it strange?

... a lot to think about
... read it, receive it, apply it and let it bless you.

Isn't it strange how a 20 dollar bill
seems like such a large amount when
you donate it to church, but such a
small amount when you go shopping?

Isn't it strange how 2 hours seem so
long when you're at church, and how
short they seem when you're watching
a good movie?

Isn't it strange that you can't find a word
to say when you're praying, but you have
no trouble thinking what to talk about with
a friend?

Isn't it strange how difficult and boring it is
to read one chapter of the Bible, but how
easy it is to read 100 pages of a popular
novel?

Isn't it strange how everyone wants front-
row-tickets to concerts or games, but they
do whatever is possible to sit at the last row
in Church?

Isn't it strange how we need to know about
an event for Church 2-3 weeks before the

day so we can include it in our agenda, but we
can adjust it for other events in the last minute?

Isn't it strange how difficult it is to learn a
fact about God to share it with others, but how
easy it is to learn, understand, extend and repeat
gossip?

Isn't it strange how we believe everything that
magazines and newspapers say, but we
question the words in the Bible?

Isn't it strange how everyone wants a place in
heaven, but they don't want to believe, do, or
say anything to get there?

Isn't it strange how we send jokes in e-mails
and they are forwarded right away, but when we
are going to send messages about God, we think
about it twice before we share it with others?

IT'S STRANGE ISN'T IT?

Need I say more? Isn't it strange?