Today we celebrated little Ms Prissy Princess's birthday!!! She turned 4 on March 5th, but the party didn't happen until the 8th.....aka today!!
As many people who could attend due to hectic schedules attended, and little Ms. Prissy Princess, dressed in Cinderalla blue ball gown with matching shoes, (yeah people I know she is spoiled) had more of a Christmas with HER only receiving gifts than a birthday party, and gifts are still coming via mail from family members who couldn't attend.
The adults had a good time as well, or at least I hope they did, since the kids miagrated into "the birthday girls room of fun and adventure", keeping their time quiet and in peace. Giving us cranky old adults time to sit, drink and converse.
The night did take a wicked turn, after almost everyone had left, I suffered a devestating loss. I lost my best friend!!! I won't go into details basically because I'm not ready and maybe becaus I don't feel comfortable showing the "world my emotions". Yet, for me, it was a devestating blow.
My best friend's name is Dustin. A blonde/white/grey cocker spainel with love towards man kind that could melt the hardest of hearts, a devotion towards his owner that sparkled in his 17 plus years eyes daily, and a dog that has traveled more places than most human's much less any animal. I lost my first child.
I've for months now braced myself for his death since he has been failing for some time now. Each day it seemed a miracle to awake and him wander slowly towards the backdoor to go "potty". In my minds eye, in prepration to my heart and soul, I would think he'd pass in one of two ways, in his sleep or him having to be put down, I never dreamed nor prepared myself for how he died, and much less ME being the one to find him with a few children still in the house celebrating my daughter's birth.
I've relieved this night in my mind so many times, I picked him up, kissed him with his gawd awful bad breath, to place him outdoors. People were leaving him standing at the backdoor with those pitful cocker spainel eyes begging me to let him inside, and me telling him, in a minute sweetie mama will be right back to let you in. Well mama aka I was too late.
I have to deal with this my own way, I have to make peace where right now no peace resides, I HAVE to move on!!! My daddy made a slide show in "remberance of Dustin" to remind me of his happy life.......watching his tail wag, his bright eyes that had in old age turned dull, his whimper begging and usually getting what he wanted, joyful and happy. I had friends emailing and calling the few that knew of what had transpired and friends who found out showed up and stayed with me until they couldn't keep their eyes open any longer. Dustin was loved, all you had to do was just walk in my house and an instant attraction took place ~ he had a heart of gold, love towards man kind I envied, and never met a stranger........he was many things in my life...
Dustin was first and foremost my child/my best friend. He stood by me when no one else would, he protected me, guarded me, comforted me, more importantly he loved me. Life will no longer be the same with out my "Dust mop" as I called him. When he passed tonight a part of me died!!!
Something I have always shared with friends when losing a pet is something I HAVE to cling to now....it is from a post YEARS ago from Ann Landers....
Dogs Don't Have Souls Do They?
I remember bringing you home. You were so small and cuddly with your tiny paws and soft fur.
You bounced around the room with eyes flashing and ears flopping. Once in a while, you'd let out a yelp just to let me know this was your territory.
Making a serious mess of the house and chewing on everything in sight became your passion, and when I scolded you, you just pout your head down and looked up at me with those innocent eyes, as if to say, "I'm sorry, but I'll do it again as soon as you're not watching."
As you got older, you protected me by looking out the window and barking at everyone who walked by.
When I had a tough day at work, you would be watiting for me with your tail wagging just to say, "Welcome home. I missed you." You never had a bad day, and I could always coundt on you to be there for me.
When I sat down to read the paper and watch TV, you would hop on my lap, looking for attention. You never asked for anything more than to have me pat your head so you could go to sleep with you head over my leg.
As you got older, you moved around more slowly. Then, one day, old age finally took its toll, and you couldn't stand on those wobbly legas anymore. I knelt down and patted you lying there, trying to make you young again. You just looked up at me as if to say you were old and tired and that after all these years of not asking for anything, you had to ask me for one last favor.
with tears in my eyes, I drove you one last time to the vet. One last time, you were lying next to me.
For some strange reason, you were able to stand up in the animal hospital; perhaps it was your sense of pride.
As the vet led you away, you stopped for an instant, turned your head and looked at me as if to say, "thank you for taking care of me."
I thought, "NO, thank you for taking care of me."
Unfortuantelly, I did not have this chance with my Dust mop, the last exchange Dustin and I had was me carrying him outside, kissing him, seeing him at the back door wanting back in, but I was too busy........
he was never to busy for me, but I was too busy to let him in.........I'll just end with this as my signature line and photo.....
Dustin, I've always loved you since the first day I laid eyes on you in that pet shop, and even through death, I still love you!!! You are deeply missed.....
Mama and Dustin on the return of burying my Grams in 2003.....
