Baseball ~ you the know the sport that men try and hit balls around a field ~ hell if it requires hitting balls I have a few I have no doubt I could hit some home runs with rather they enjoy it or not right now.
As you have listened to me bitch about through the summer is baseball, however, my dearly beloved hubby :angry, announced tonight he has been keeping something from me. Now mind you, he didn't actually informing me of such events, MY FUCKIN" NEIGHBOR DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah life in my house tonight has not been pleasent.
As I'm sure most of you are currently aware, Speed and Q14, are leaving Friday for a week long of blistful retreat in their enviornment of non stop baseball. Little Ms. Prissy and I are staying at home tending to the dogs and "girly" stuff. I've resigned myelf to this and with little bitching on the home front. *KEY NOTE: as long as I get my Toby Keith tickets with backstage passes ~ all is right with the world!!!*
Let me take us all back in time to Sunday nite: a bit of a conversation that transpired between Speed and myself:
Speed: Sweetie, come to bed, we need to talk
Me: What
Speed: Ummm, we need to discuss this weeks events
Me: I know this weeks events ~ you leave Friday
Speed: No baby, come here
Me: WHAT?
Speed: Well honey, the Lebo's *the team leaving Friday for St. Louis* are having practice Monday and the Rebel's *the team for the upcoming high school team he'll be playing on* have a game Tuesday.
Me: Yeah and ~ I work Tuesday so you won't be coaching as you'll have Little Ms. Prissy.
Speed: Well I just wanted to keep you updated on the events of the week
Me: Thank you sweets but just as long as you give Little Ms. Prissy the same amount of "quality" time as you do Q14 since you'll be gone for a week I'm okay with it ~ I knew this was coming.
Well then TONIGHT HIT :angry
I walk outside to spend time with hubby, as he complains I never do this, only to walk up on THIS conversation:
Neighbor: I have free tickets Thursday nite to the Rangers game Q14 would you like to go
Speed: Well I'm sure he'd love too but it depends on the outcome of the tournament he is in this week
Me: WHAT FU**** TOURNAMENT!!!
All parties outside our house turn and look at me and all become meek individuals..
Hubby: Ummm honey, you knew they were playing tomorrow nite
Me: very very :angry look YEAH AND!!!!!! WHAT TOURNATMENT DEARY ~
Hubby: Well if they win tomorrow nite they proceed onto the Pony League finals which wind up in Florida, BUT the league pays for everything
Me: YEAH AND YOU WERE GOING TO TELL ME THIS WHEN EXACTLY
Hubby: *giving stern look* the dead can hear you right now shut up
Me: Good because the dead is the only thing going to save your happy*many unmentionable words about now* ass right now................WHAT TOURNAMENT.........SINCE WHEN FLORIDA..........AND WTF WERE YOU THINKING?
Silence filled the neighborhood ~ I've never seen so many men run towards the safety of their non screaming wives in my life!!!! Tonight I pretty much partied the red sea and then some!!!! PISSED is an understatement!!!!!
So Speed comes inside to talk this through with me ~ if you are thinking this should be good ~ HA you are right!!! Conversation is as follows:
Speed: Honey, you knew when we took on Q14 playing in these two teams, some sacrifices were going to have to be made
Me: Do you have a fuckin' mouse in your pocket? Last time I checked there was no WE in this whole since fuckin' April two teamed decision.............you just informed me "honey, it is nothing to worry about, we can handle this, one team has large advantages and the other is a new team they'll go no where and be done by the time he gets out of school"
Speed: Well I miss spoke
Me: REALLY YEAH THINK!!!! Where is your RICE EDUCATION NOW ~ muttering you misspoke yeah baby you are catching on right now!!!
Speed: Well if we wind up in Florida the team pays for everything, not like fund rasising for the St. Louis trip and it is a no brainer you'd be going sweetie
Me: Well gezz baby for the invite because NEWS FLASH ~ not ONLY am I going, but I'll not attend a game and I'll damn SURE NOT be taking Little Ms. Prissy Princess. For when the games are done, you'll be picking her up at my mother's and my ass will be long gone in sea BY MYSELF to forgien lands.
Me: Why didn't you tell me this week was a tournament and what about Little Ms. Prissy, she understands it less than I do?
Speed: I knew you'd react this way so I decided to not tell you until I KNEW if they'd win and as far as Little Ms. Prissy Princess I'll take her with me..........
Me: you're damn straight you will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And gezz thanks I'm more upset NOT knowing and finding out from our NEIGHBORS...........
Speed: You'd actually go on a cruise without me?
Me: *shocked look* well YEAH!!!! And great way to change the subject, remember this!!!
Speed: I always thought we'd take your first cruise together *aka he has been on a cruise before*
Me: Well so did I until YOU decided it was better fit that I work nights you weren't involved in baseball and baseball traveling was involved.......welcome to MY vacation and YOUR HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Speed: Well what about Toby Keith tickets.....
Me: Can I go back stage and I sleep with him
Speed: HELL NO
Me: then I'm going on a cruise..........:biggrin
conversation abruptly ends...........but with :wtf on both ends.................can anyone hear me scream I HATE BASEBALL???????????????????????????????????????????
DID YOU TAKE A CLASS ON HOW TO PISS ME OFF?
Wow! That really stinks! I wonder, if you hadn't overheard the conversation, when he would have told you about the tournament!
I love it when you asked where his Rice education went, too.
I dont think he was gonna tell you until the very last minute so he could avoid you!! But as usual, men cannot win...ever. I guess the neighbors are pretty quiet, still. You go girl!!
I can totally understand, after all, baseball is just a waste of time. Its not evena real sport, like soccer. I know that if it was soccer, you'd understand, right?... right? :-)
A sport is a sport is a sport ~ it goes along the lines ~ if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it is a fuckin' duck!!! Anything men get excited on trying to place a "ball" object into a small area is just men being men ~ minus the sexual activity and they call it a sport ~ in my humble opinion LOL
Right sit down Jamie for this. I think Steve and Q14 should be able to go off for a week or whatever it is for their baseball. Everyone is entitled to a separate identity within a marriage however, as long as it is afforded both ways. So therefore I conclude that if you really do want that vacation with the family Jamie and you can feel good about it, in the way Steve goes off enjoying the baseball with your son then do so. I do not though think I would do so as a punishment for them leaving you but for the right reason of wanting time out for yourself.
Ms Phil as always.
p.s. I'll come with you *wink*