Chapter 2 ~ Grounded For Life

Not all of their little tricks revolved around a form of discipline; it also had a great deal with their choice of “living location”. Even small towns have places only animals live and guess what that is where my parents had their home built in the middle of no man’s land. For the first part of my life cable companies didn’t even know this area existed in town so therefore we had no cable. So entertaining one’s imagination became a challenge.

My first form of entertainment became having a collection of stray animals. Which my daddy would just rant and rave about ~ one time I went as far as bringing home a Billy goat to join our collection of strays. Mama was just as unimpressed, but her point of view was this, if she is collecting animals she is at least staying out of trouble. Well that was a short-lived reprieve for my parents.

It wasn’t long that learning a love for nature and all of its creations became boring for me. It was then when I learned the wonders of the telephone. It was through the telephone I realized life does exist outside of no man’s land. But the telephone also became my parent’s largest form of punishment. Please note their overachievers abilities in class, this was obviously a topic well discussed in both their classes.

Thus far, the only form of discipline used in my life was spankings. It wasn’t like I could run away ~ where would I go? The woods? That was until my newfound love called the telephone. I soon discovered there really is life outside of stray animals and these people actually talk, but they also helped my life become more miserable if that was even remotely possible.

With daddy being a preacher some of his parishioner’s would have to go to what I referred to “the big city” for surgeries and the like where he and mama would have to leave for an afternoon to be with them and their families. Of course, I’d opt not to go, I’d hate to be the reason to hold one of them back when they are so needed elsewhere you know. Yet, I’d really be happy to see them drive off when I was in my “grounded status” that seemed to be the majority of my teenage life.

We lived up on a hill and the house would sit back on this hill. When looking through my bedroom window about a half of mile away from our house, there was an opening in the forest where you could see the taillights of a car. Once they toped the hill of being “officially” gone for the day. I’d hit the hallway straight to the phone I had been “grounded” from. The whole way skipping along smiling and thinking “sucker’s” been outdone ONCE again. When will they ever learn!!

It was not a long and happy time for me as I quickly learned that whole class issue was happening to haunt me yet again. I’d pick up the phone to call one of my still life long friends, we’ll just refer to her as “partner in crimes”, dial her number, hear her say hello and I’d speak and then I’d hear “hello is anyone there?”/hello!!! Of course there is a phone line communication problem because remember I do live out in no man’s land.

My parents will not outdo me; I’m here to make their life miserable not the other way around, right? So I quickly dial my “partner in crime” back only for the response to be the same thing.

Not only did we live in no man’s land, but we also had those antique phones, where you can screw the mouthpiece open and remove the item that allows other’s to hear you. Well guess what, my daddy removed each and every mouth piece out of every phone in the house. How do I know this? Because I tried them all!!

It was about 30 minutes after my parents left that I’m sure my daddy could no longer contain himself and wanting to gloat over his out witting me once again in my life, stopped at a pay phone and called home. I of course sure this was a sick joke answered as well as I couldn’t stand listening to a phone ring and he knew it and I all I heard was ~ I know you are there but I can’t hear you sounds of him and mama laughing, what was that honey, I can’t hear you, but just wanted to make sure you were still home. They hang up still with their laughter in my ears.

Can you tell it became a never-ending battle of who could out do whom?

I did however manage to out whit them one time over the whole issue with the phone and my “restriction”. I made arrangements earlier during school knowing they were going to be going into the “big city” that I told my “partner in crime” when I called, to tell her mom that I was able to come over and play and to come pick me up.

It actually worked and I spent a day of reprieve with my friend at her house. Mind you it was a short reprieve because my parents with their sick sixth sense came home early to their daughter being gone.

My brother of course never discouraged me from my stunts because if truth were known he truly enjoyed watching me being tortured.

So my friends mom brings me home and I knew the instant we pulled in the driveway my life was over from that day on ~ to add insult to injury ~ my friend’s mom wants to come in and say hello to my mama. My life becomes very ugly by this point and time as well as my “partner’s in crime’s” life. For some reason neither of our parents found any humor in our ability to outwit the average parent. Gezz, talk about no sense of humor.

It was then that my parents decided to dismantle the phone completely no hearing piece and no mouthpiece so therefore no contact to the human world and then they went and did something really brutal. Even though I was old enough to stay home alone for an afternoon, they made sure they had a babysitter there with me. What is up with this???

Somehow, I managed to survive those years; scared deep in my psyche somewhere I’m sure, but survived. That they finally allowed me to have friends come over and spend the night.

It was one night in particular I’ll never forget, basically because I swear I suffered a concussion. And the matter that I almost cracked my skull open fell upon mute/non caring ears by the end of the night. I was in the 8th/9th grade and was allowed to have one of my dear friends over for the night. It was actually a compromise of us wanting to go to a party in the neighborhood that my brother was being allowed to attend. Just because it was mostly boys, I didn’t see the issue why my friend and myself being able to attend just because we’d be the only females, but my parents thought differently.

However, as a compromise, they’d allow my friend to come over and spend the night. Well for some reason, reasons to date I still don’t know, my brother was brought in for this plan that wound up giving me a concussion.

Remember the break in the forest that I could see from my window making sure the parents/parent, whatever the case may be for the needed escape? Well my daddy also worked 3rd shift on the railroad as well as being a minister so he had to work this particular night in question. My mama always goes to bed early and sleeps soundly so to me she was not a threat. I was in the clear once I could get daddy out of the house right?

So my daddy comes into my room, where I have the lights off and we are in bed trying to portray how well we are behaving, to give me a kiss goodbye and that he loves me. I say night daddy see you in the morning and hunker down in my bed as if drifting off to sleep. As daddy walked out of the room he said, “I just want you to know how proud I am of you tonight honey sleep well.”

It is about this time my friend grows a conscious and says “That is way too sweet we can’t do this he trust you.” Yeah right, I learned that is a sign of a challenge!! I jump out of bed with the lights still off so I can watch without him seeing me peering out the window to see the lights top the hill on the other side of the forest. I whisper to my friend come on time to go ~

I yank open my window, flip the screen out of the window, and straddle the window to make my escape from the walls I call home to the open night air to toddle off to the party I was forbidden to attend. I’m straddling the window about to pull my other leg threw to jump to the ground, when I hear the creak of the porch rockers back in the dark. I stop and listen nothing so I continue with my journey through the window when I hear the clearing of a familiar voice in his throat and he simply says, “Going somewhere?”

My mind leaves me and my head crashes into the window pane as I try my best to get out of his hands reach of pulling me through the window and spanking me all the way back into the house.

By the time my daddy can get back into the house, I’ve not only managed to get back in the window slamming it shut and locking it so he can’t enter the way I was departing, stripped down and in my p-jays and in bed.

When he opens my bedroom door flips on the light and with one swift yank grabs my arm and swats my behind with a belt that I purchased him for a Christmas present. My friend still standing by the window with her mouth draped open in shock from events taking place before her eyes.

Needless to say all this noise and screaming and yelling woke my mama who also got into this whole discipline action. The last words I remember being hurdled my way were “YOU’RE GROUNDED”. Well there is a news flash that I swear will be on my headstone when I finally pass away.

It wasn’t until later I found out how my daddy pulled this issue off ~ somehow he got my brother home without me knowing about it ~ had him drive the car up the hill while my daddy just sat and waited for a move he knew I’d eventually make.

I always knew my parents were going to be a challenge for me to overcome, but little did I know, that they were such overachievers. You would have thought that little bit of information would have formulated early in my lifetime, but well, I guess I’m a bit head strong and determined. So I just laid and waited for my next time to make a move and win.

IT IS EASIER TO GET FORGIVENESS THAN PERMISSION