Well Q15 is having a very rough time right now with his first reality check that everyone is not promised a long and prosperious life.
If interested keep reading - if not thanks for stopping by -
As my regulars are aware Q15 has been playing baseball for years. The teams that he plays on is with the same group of boys each year. Yesterday, he found out, one of his team mates was killed over the weekend in a car accident.
He is taking this news very hard, which isn't suprising, but it breaks my heart to see him in this state of mind. Last night he was asking me how this could happen and why were they claiming it was a racing accident.
At the time all the investigation surrounding the accident wasn't available today we found out - all three sibilings were in the car - his friend was the only one pronounced dead on arrival - his youngest sister is still in critical condition. The older sister was treated at the scene and relased and the boyfriend who was driving went uninjured. They spent the day at Six Flags and the boyfriend was racing his car against friends. There was a dip in the road which caused him to lose control of the car and caused him to crash into a tree and then a telephone pole.
What advise do you tell a 15 year old to help him understand what even an adult doesn't understand??? I called my mama to get her advise and she is going to call back later and have daddy call me to help give him advise.
These are such sad events!!! The funeral is tomorrow and the whole baseball team is going to be in attendance. Any advise would be helpful!!!
Till next time -
...I was 16+, playing footy in the driveway with my brother when I got the phone call, mark never went to church with his parents but there had been an argument that morning - it was the last weekend with him at home (he went to boarding school) and so he felt guilty and decided to follow on his motorbike - he took a week to die after the car hit him...there was nothing I could say, nothing I could do - he was my best mate, he was guitarist in my band, he was my roomate at school and I spent a term sleeping on my own in a half-postered room...and it taught me one thing - be passionate, care but if you ain't having fun and you ain't going to win - walk away and get on with the rest of your life...you get one go at this life and then you are a long time dead...no matter what your beliefs are, celebrate the life and the living...tomorrow you have to get on with your life...I do not know if this makes sense and I don't know if it helps...26 years later I still think about mark - but not the dead mark, the live one..and there are moments that I do stuff knowing that tomorrow I might be taken out by a guy coming round a blind corner on the wrong side of the road and I might never get to do them again...and there are times I don't do stuff because tomorrow I might be dead - but I never finish a conversation to my kids or my wife without telling them I love them...so, all I can say is tell q15 you love him, let him cry tomorrow (and maybe the next day) and then get ready to move on...love
That's superb advice, Billy. Jamie and I had a conversation along those lines...that life needs to be lived for real, not as a dress rehearsal. Most likely there isn't anything that can be said to ease his grief, but Q14 has a chance to learn about life from this.
Jamie, if Sister #3 has any suggestions, I'll be sure to pass them on to you. Hugsssss, hon....and pass a hug on to the kid for me, won't you?
I suspect that you really need to sit him down and tell him the truth. There comes a time when children need to understand that life is not all peaches and cream, as much as we may wish to shelter children from harm and negative influences.
It is also a hard thing to grasp when we realize that our parents (who we frequently think of as ideal individuals) will not necessarily be around to look after us until we are at a ripe old age.
Good luck Jamie and I hope the funeral is not too traumatic for Q15.
Sorry to hear about Q15 friend. There is not a right way or a wrong way and advice is not really the right thing as far as it goes for me to give. All you can do is be there for Q15 when he needs to talk. I have a suggestion though that perhaps the Baseball Team could bring in a counsellor for the boys to talk to. Everyone has their own way of dealing with death. When its someone young you cannot really say "oh! well they had a long life" or any of the usual things people say to comfort others in their grieving.
Just give Q15 a hug from me and Clive will you
Love Sylvie
Boy, thats rough... I don't know what to tell you to tell him, but I will tell you what I think...
I believe life is like a series of tests. It is rigged so that we cannot pass them all, but still, we must try. Unfortunately, Q15's friend did not get through this one, through no fault of his own. Its not necessarily something that looks bad on him, its just how life is. Life is just a very uncertain thing.
As others have said above, that is why you have to try to live your life to the fullest, enjoying it. Also, you have to be careful. If you find yourself uneasy about certain paths you are taking, get off of them! Trust that inner voice, because sometimes that is all that separates us from others who don't make it, or from whose lives take the long route through hell.
Yeah, I know that I sound grim, but sometimes, that is how life is.
You would have to decide if that is something you want to tell Q15, though...
That is very tragic. :-( Sounds like good advice was given here. Take care and be sure to keep Q15 aware of your ongoing love as your son. Also, I do hope the funeral is not too painful for him.