Sit back grab a :cocktail and if you are really interested in reading about my soap box right now then read further ~ if not enjoy your one and only :cocktail
My soapbox is about "single mother's and their "significant other's" that flow through a child's life".
When I turned 18 I was engaged, married by 19, preggo with "twins" NONE THE LESS, by 21. By the age 24 I was headed down divorce row, single mother, of one, I lost the twin during the pregnancy, and I quote "You'll only be a welfare person, begging off the government and your family, you are not intelligent enough to make a living for yourself much less a child, you'll come crawling back begging me to take you back." Those were the last words I heard out of my ex-husband's mouth.
I was a single mom for 10 years before meeting and marrying Speedbump and I also not only worked TWO full time jobs, I also worked 3 part time jobs, to make ends meet. Does that make me a better person HELL NO ~ the purpose of my post is for this ~
In my eldest child's life, there have been FOUR influencial men pass through, two to date have been constants in his life, my daddy and Speedbump. The other two, would be definded as his biologial father and a man whom I feel deeply inlove with for 6 years of my 10 years of quote "singlehood".
Hell my ex's boyfriend shows more interest in my eldest child than his own father!!! Speedbump adopted my oldest child in the few short years of us being married so my Q15 is OFFICIALLY "his father's child".
The purpose of my post is for this reason: I have some friends whom are or could possibly be using a child as a reason of "togethernethes". Okay, I'm so mis-discribing this ~ basically a child is being held a "pawn", for lack of better words, by the "mother", under the guideliness it is "best for the child"!!!
Okay, call me blonde, call me stupid, personally I really don't give a fly rat's ass, but I'm a mother of TWO ~ when bonds are made and relationships split up, a child does NOT UNDERSTAND ~ to harbor that child basically, again lack of better words, HOSTAGE, is unacceptable on so many levels. To me a person who has walk the walk, talked the talk and lived the life of a "single mother", the only person you are hurting is your child.
In "MY" humble opinion, if you loved the person enough to bring your child into the fold and build a bond ~ the person you have split from is willing and wanting to continue that relationship ~ if you don't allow it ~ okay minus the sexual/sick aspects; which I KNOW do not apply in this case ~ why allow your "CHILD" to suffer???????????
Relationships begin/Relationships end ~ that is LIFE ~ if you are willing to allow this much activity in relationships to be available to your child then YOU have to grow up and swallow the fact of allowing your child to spend time with the "ONE'S THEY LOVE".
I'm not passing judgement, I'm just speaking from one mother to another!!!!
THINK ABOUT IT!!!
What I will sign off with speaks more than my measly post will ever speak; however; as a single mom and now a mother of two; never forget these words because you never know whom you affect ~
A Hundred Years From Now:
"It will not matter what my bank account was; or the sort of house I lived in; much less the car I drove....
But the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child!!!"
Author Unknown
Nite Peeps!!!
:cocktail
I agree with you. I too was a single mom, who worked hard to support two boys. I did not live in the best apartment but I lived in one that was in a safe place and one that I could afford. In the years I was single the boys only met one man whom I dated, him being Robert. Move over Jamie *climbing on soap box with ya* when you are a single mom, I also believe you should not prance your dates in and out of the childs life, please, by all means go out, enjoy, but does your child need to have these people pass through there hearts as well. If as adults we get our hearts broke that was a risk we took, but I don't find it right that the child needs to feel the pain with you. While I'm on the soap box *glances at the Queen* when speaking of the childs father remember ladies, you found something good in him at one time, at least good enough that you created a child together, bite your tongue about him while the children are around. Say something nice even when you don't want to, after all every bad word you say about HIM hurts your child. ok ok ok *climbing off the soap box*
amen to every word of that...and what Lois said also...
difficult to do, but not impossible!
Well, I am neither married, a parent or female, but I agree that it is unfair to allow children to suffer because of adult relationships that have gone sour.
And as sensitive as they (children) may appear to be they frequently understand a lot more than we as adults give them credit for.