I under-rated some of the answers ~ I guess I'm more high maintenance as it says I am!!!
If I had a mood indicator right now it would show ~ :FINGERboid
Yes I have had a week from HELL!!!! Actually I think if I would agreeded on Monday to sell my soul to the devil ~ I would have won the lottery this weekend.....but I declined!!! Am I the only one who needs a :cocktail??????????
Read further if you DARE!!!!!!!!!!! It will be a long post and a lot of emotion!!!
Where do I begin.............ohh yeah I know where.......
First I was told "friends" were suppose to be coming in for the weekend ~ the relationship has been strained for sometime now and the last conversation I had with this was told to me that THIS was the weekend they were coming into town as they not only needed a "get a way" but they needed friendly bonding.......I make arrangements accordingly outside of my own PERSONAL issues going on you'll read about if you keep reading...........:scatter Needless to say they are a no show, no call, no email, no im ~ HOW HAPPY AM I?????? :pummel I think that sums it up don't you?
Second ~ this is the time frame my eldest Q15 is MIA from the family nest visiting biological ties........can I just say this.....if I EVER and I mean EVER decide it is in his best interest again PLEASE REMIND ME OF THIS HELL WEEK!!!!
*note we are still on second issue* ~ Let me see if I can even describe my first conversation with my eldest on the phone two days after his arrival ~ the conversation goes something like this ~ mind you I'm leaving out details because basically it isn't anyone's business
~Q15~ HI MAMA did you go to work today
~MAMA~ Yes and I'm calling you on my drive home to find out how you are and how things are going !!!
~Q15 ~ OHHHH MAMA!!!! "Step-Mom" is so COOL!!! What is your problem with her anyways ~ she is so "COOL"!!!! Then he goes on to say ~ I so love being an older brother!!! *side note my ex has three younger boys other than Q15 with his second wife ~ furtile MTF'er* ~ That comment catches my attention....I laugh and REMIND him he is already an older brother to his SISTER ~ how on earth could ANYONE forget the Prissy Princess??????????? That is when I found out what my parents have always told me ~ how badly children can hurt you in on sentence.............
Q15 began to inform me that I was the root of all his insecurities in life, I was the reason he could not get along with his sister because I didn't give my children enough respect and time alone for MY children to work it out amoungst themselves...........and he came to this conclusion by(however the fuck you spell it) by talking with "STEP MAMA" and the "FAMILY"!!! I have been the reason WHY they have never had any "alone" time with him.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After biting my tongue and telling him the REAL story ~ I started crying but held my motherly ground and told him ~ unless you are asking me to pack your bags and send them to you because you are not coming home, remember this one little tid bit on life ~ I am still and untill the day you die will ALWAYS be YOUR MOTHER and if you aren't coming home this conversation is a mute point but if you DO plan on coming home, I am still the person you have to deal with day in and day out ~ I have never allowed you to talk with me in such disrespect and I NEVER will ~ and I WILL beat your ass when you get home from this conversation as I have a memory of steal!!!
He *Q15* proceeded to inform me THAT was my largest problem in life in regards to my divorce / my current marriage / my daughter and HIM.............by this time I'm a blibering idioit blonde on the cell phone driving on the freeway.....I actually had to pull over!!!!
*Side Note* ~ for those that know Q15 you KNOW this is NOT HIM and can understand!!!
Needless to say Q15 and I hung up not on a pleasant good bye as *ex hubby* had more "important" things for him to do than talk to his MOTHER!!!
So I call poor Speedbump ~ the man has been a saint through this whole going to work issue *for the most part that is another post* ~ Q15 being gone ~ and now this...........
Speedbump ask what is wrong ~ I tell him the story ~ HE IS LIVID!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to work that night ~ ohh did I forget to mention either Speed or myself had to call Q15 back because he is having cell phone problems :lol ~ so I tell Speed YOU will call him back because I'm such a wicked person I refuse and Speed "laid down the laid dow the law ~ YOU WILL NOT CALL HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Speed gets on the phone with him and informs him *aka Q15* ~ how would you like it if your mom were to call you and say "Everyone is fine Prissy Princess has found a friend who treats her with respect as well as me *aka mother*, you aren't missed stay as long as you want...........Speed said to him how would that make you feel???????????" Q15's response ~ "I wouldn't like it and would be hurt" So speedbump took it even further and said well hurt doesen't even begin to describe how you mother feels ................ all of your life who has ALWAYS been there for you?????????????? "Ex Hubby??? Step MOM???? Or MOM?????" Q15 "MOM ALWAYS" Speedbump "Yet MOM is the root all of the sudden of all your evils???? Have you forgotten Q15 you thought that of one of your best friends who tried to kill you???? And who was it who pulled up and saved your life??? " Q15 "MOM" Speedbump "Yet she is the root of all your's and prissy princesses evils all of the sudden because either the "ex" or "step mom" say so???" Q15 "apologizes to Speedbump and Speed says it itsn't me you need to apologize to it is your mother, however an "I'M Sorry" will never take away the hurt you put in your mother's heart" Speed proceeded to tell Q15 "I have never been more angry, disappointed, and hurt by any action you have taken than I am from that one conversation; he informed him he crossed a line HE was unaware of of hurt / deception / possible mind manipulation / but most importat DISRESPECT of the ONLY parent who has stuck by him ALL HIS LIFE!!!
That was only the begining of my week I don't even think I dare go into other details................all I know is right now is this ~ friends I thought were friends and make a "weekend get away" and I plan accordingly ~ is a MUTE point but still hurtful ~ and then my son telling me everything I've ever done for him in life is mute because "step mom" is so cool and he love's being an older brother to three younger MALE siblings..............makes me think KG maybe Laura saved her heart some heartbreak...........maybe Laura was the smart one..........I just was too blind to see it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I know several people who know if I will post that publicily it has hit way below the belt and made me question...........are mother's really the right person to raise their children??????????? If we go by my track record thus far apparently not!!!
One last side note before anyone starts talking to me about "father's have rights yadayadayada", I'll be the first to agree, but in my particular case my ex does NOT have any rights ~ he signed away his parental rights for speedbump to adopt him ~ this little trip was out of my wanting Q15 to know his biological ties and never question his life as I have all my life as I was adopted!!! As well as as I never wanted to be told "I kept him from a family he never know"!!! So I let my guard down and gave him what a mother thought he needed ~ Boy did I fuck up!!
THERE ARE TWO SIDES TO EVERY DIVORCE YOUR'S AND SHITHEADS!!!
OMG honey, I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be feeling over that phone call. I know I would be devastated! And I agree. Not all father's have rights!!!!
Just.....*hugz hugz hugz*
ok, lets first consider the fact that he doesn't have rights, he gave them up, and Q15 knows that...so of course things have to be said to make someone else the bad guy, because of course it just can't be him.
second, considering the things shes done, I'm not really surprised at things she's done...of course she will have alot of animosity towards you, as the ex wife and mother of the firstborn son...etc...
plus, she does not have to be 'mom' so she can be the 'cool buddy' that is only there for a few days in his life, instead of being there for EVERY day of his life, like you are...
Q15 is an inteligent kid (shut up, he is dammit!) and although it may not be today, he will come to see how much you did for him in his life...
i know as i got older, it was amazing how much smarter my mother got.
Love you always gal
Sorry to hear about all this emotional drama. I am only 25 and remember all too well the things I would say or do to my mother to hurt her just so I could get my way. I have grown out of that and my mother and I are very close now. Q15 will too, realize how much you have done for him when he gets a little older. In the mean time, just remember that he is still a child who needs guidance and love...even if it is painful. *big hugs to you*
Jamie!!! WOW, is the first thing i can even think of to say. first of all, i know i would not stand you up if i was coming in from out of town and have you set things up and get ready for me. so that sucks, BUT if i was there in town, then i would say i would try to come over and if i dont, you wouldnt get mad. ha ha.
nonetheless, i would have tried to call you or email you or something just to let you know that i wouldnt be coming, so that sucks,
as far as tu hijo (Q15), that sucks too. i dont have children, and my parents are together, but i do have a brother who has gone through a similar situation. the in law, makes my brother to be the bad one, the one who works all the time, the one who has the bad family who never wants to be there, when in all reality, we are always there for them, the in law is the one who is Fu**ed up. the in law tried to "convince" my brothers kids to think she was the cool one and my bro wasnt.
did it work? well at first, i think being a child, they didnt know any better, as the years got older, they came to realize that family is family and they can feel the real love. at first, it might seem the right thing to think, or the "cool" thing but all in all, your hijo knows you love him and will die for him, as well as speedy.
tu hijo is in a whole different environment with new people. like going on vacation, most of the time, something new is always "cool" at first, but give it time and patience and he will come back to you a better person and understand that family he has now, that hasnt left him out in the cold, is true and full of love. besides, he is a teen ager right? they dont know any better.
love ya chica....
RedEagle is right, hon. Q15 IS intelligent, and if you can give him a little time, he'll come to understand how he was manipulated. Speed did a good job getting him to acknowledge just who has always been there for him.
Have faith!
Just passing by to say hello. I have been a very bad (though far away) neighbour. Hope all is well.
Jamie, Sorry to hear of the call from Q15, and also to hear of the no-show guests. Hope thins pick up and turn more positive for you.