Recently in Blogger Bits Category

By the web master it is time to update. Plus I have been informed we have some "idenity" issues going on with one of my children in reference to the title "Mama T". :biglaugha Okay for the few that understand what I'm talking about, let me break it down, here in hell Texas all the kids call me "mama T" as they call my son by his last name which starts with a T. However, for "T", the webmaster, in her group she is also called "mama T", along with a few other names from others "T", "Aunt T'sey" and well a few other's I have thrown in along the way :biggrin. :biglaugha Now that I have cleared that up...............I have been instructed how dare I inform other's to update and then bitch when post are very short and I have yet to update. Well the answer to that question is simple.......

*looking around* ohh man doesn't it just feel "festive" here!!! THANK YOU T'SEY !!!! :1luvu

Happy Holidays..............Happy Holidays to everyone!!!!!!!!!! And Lord knows I should never say Merry Christmas, if we can't call a Christmas tree that because "Christ" is in it..........*rolling eyes* :scared I sure would hate to offend anyone :tounge NOT!!! Get over it Merry CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyhoot, since before Thanksgiving, my BITCH, the batcave and for many others, know her as Kristi or well Kg, she has been MIA. FOR ONCE she hasn't been MIA from me, she has been in the hospital. As I'm typing this she is still in the hospital. She called me 3 days before Thanksgiving, admitted in the hospital, yet discharged the day before. Only to be readmitted the day OF Thanksgiving and has not left the hospital since!!!

Do they know what is wrong with my girl? ummm NO ~ however, we have a plan, she is to be sprung hopefully by this Friday!!!! If not I"m going to hyjack her ass!!!! She has some serious drugs going on, she is in and out, her spirits are as good as one's can be when she is in the hospital for as long as she is with no reason why!!!

I'm seriously concerned about my BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm planning a covert mission to save my batwoman from the big house :lol

As far as my household, my parents are coming to town!!! If any of my regular readers are still active around here you know what that means, LIFE IS BUSY!!!! However to boost my hubby..............God bless him!!! He held true to the rules of our house..........the day after Thanksgiving and after many lights he battled...........our outside now looks like this!!!!!!!!

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Didn't he do so good!!!!!!!!! All of that and the day after Thanksgiving ~ I'll soon post photo's of the inside once I get them taken!

Now to news about updates of doctor's visits of those whom are interested ~ I beging genitic testing next week. My white blood cell count is still high but coming down....it started out at 14 something and is now at 11 something and according to my doctor it is suppose to be 3-4 something. Whatever test is done for diabities I'm in good shape, however, I will now have to stay on cholastor meds and blood pressure meds due to the limited knowledge of biological ties.........next week, I do more blood work and also nerve damage work to try and deal with all that, but apparently, my therory has been proven true ~

I'm a tough ol brawd and I'm hanging in there however I'm about to kick my 17 year old's ass!!! Come in here and try and be Mr. I have gas pro ~ I have two kids for sell anyone interested................................

For the record if anyone took that last line serious ~ don't contact me as I will go nuts on you!!! I was KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!

WHO ARE THESE KIDS AND WHY ARE THEY CALLING ME MOM!

Confusing huh? Well since I'm so baffled about some ongoing issues it seemed appropriate for a title. However, let us begin with some fun!!!

Well batcave made an appearance on our side of town the other night. So of course, I had to venture out with one my adoptive "kids" to go see her with camera in hand. She as usual is still beautiful and I am without makeup and hair undone.........but here we are in our glory together!!!

As you can see our "showerguy" off to the side so I must include him on the next photo!!!

Gawd I miss them ~ however I must give credit to the batcave she is coming around really good lately!!!

Now if you dare to read further, you can read what I called insight, but will be mixed with a tongue lashing!! Continue if you dare........

1) Scenario: You are out running errands and in the parking lot of a store. You get out of your car and notice an amored car, and the guard walking into the store drops a bag of money. No one is around but you. If you knew that you would get away with it and no one would ever know (thus, you'd never be punished for it)... what do you do?

First I would look over the situation, then I would in my limited educational value try to evaluate if I could get away with such a "sure thing". Then my common sense would kick in, which always the death of me and I would pass up a chance of a life time on "what if's" and hear about it on the news that night of someone else making off with a killing!!!

2)If you could have one "super power" what would it be and why?

To read someone else's intentions and thoughts....why? Let's face it I've been fucked over more than once I want an inside track.....!!!!!!!!!! If I had that knowledge years ago we'd have never faulter as friends!!!

3)If you could have dinner with a famous person (dead or alive) who would it be and why?

The person, my grandfather whom gave me the nick name "Queen Bee" the reason ~ because in Reba's song "The Greatest Man I Ever Knew" very few fall in...........my Grandpa is one and my daddy is the other.......and if I couldn't have that I'd request Steve's grandfather if for nothing else but for a game of pool!!!

4) What song do you indentify with the most and why?

Celion Dion ~ Because You Loved Me ~ why.......I'm adopted........I hear that song and it sums up my "PARENTS" not my biological ties!!! It also sums up one's that I hold dear to my heart and all we've been through as friends!!

5) Have you ever had thoughts of suicide or of hurting someone else?

Lets just say simply YES on both accounts!!

Gawd talk about some serious questions can I re interview you?? :biggrin GOD I MISS YOU KG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're jealous because the voices only speak to me

First! the rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your LJ or blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Questions And Answers:

1. if you had one day to do whatever you wanted, how would you spend
it?

HA!!! You have to ask? Spend the day with Toby Keith perferrably in bed and not sleeping :biggrin

2. what sticks out in your mind the most when you think back to "I
wish I had said/done this instead"?

The whole internet spilled over into real life drama where I hurt friends over being mislead by someone whom I thought was a friend ~ we'll just refer to it as the Panties/KG/Parman drama and I hurt KG and Parman, however we have rectified that mistake and are close friends.

3. what piece of 'wisdom' do you most want to impart to your kids?

Be loyal to yourselves and resepctful towards others

4. what do you want to accomplish most in this life?

raise happy and healthy children whom obtain their dreams and I live long enough to watch them thrive

5. "if wishes where horses, beggars would ride" what is your 'wish'?
and it's not possible to get to outrageous on this answer! LOL

If Toby were the horse and I was the begger I'd ride him :biggrin

First! the rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your LJ or blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Answers: *for the record the spelling of my name is Jamie* :lol

1. If you could undo one thing from your past what would it be?

The past is what has made me, good/bad/or indifferent what I am today ~ life experiences offer lessons to be learned and grow from ~ that being said I wouldn't want to undo anything.

2. What is one lesson you want your kids to take through the rest of their
life?

This isn't so cut and dry as I don't want just one lesson for them to take with them, but the top on the list is to always work for their dream and stay grounded with family and true friends. To love and respect other's and never let anyone let them feel unworthy.

3. What is one thing you want to do before you die?

Go to Australia

4. Are you coming to T's wedding and if not why?

Still don't have a yes or no and if I'm unable the answer to why is financial

5. What are you thoughts on me?

I don't know you in real life so can't answer this one honestly or at least with all the needed knowledge to make a true conclusion. But from what I've read of your own writings, which with anyone, doesn't show the true individual ~ you are loyal to a fault, you are easily hurt even if you don't show it to the outside world. You worry about things you can't change and things you can and although you are working on being better at this in your life ~ the things you can change you brain f*** your choice to death until you can make peace with it inside yourself.

Well I'm just getting home from the long journey home from North Carolina to spend Christmas with my family!!!

My daddy of 70 some years is retiring from pastoring from the same church for 30 some years and this is his LAST Christmas surmon. I would NOT hell NOR high WATER miss this one........the last time I was home for Christmas was almost 6 years ago preggo bitch from hell with Little Miss Prissy Princess.........this was her FIRST Christmas in NC.

How do I even BEGIN to describe the wonders of it all?????????

The first down fall was missing Speedbump.......yeah I know you heard it first here on MY blog I missed the fucker!!! But shhhhhhh we don't want him to know this :biggrin!!!

But to the wonders of everything..........the look in my parents eyes when we walked off the plane........the pure joy of having their daughter and grandkids home for Christmas.

Mama and I ACTUALLY getting along for longer than 3 days together confined .....my daddy ohhh my daddy.......the tears in his eyes....the hug as tight as his parkisens *however you spell it* would allow him to hug without hurting him.......the soft spoken I'm so glad you're home. The jokes and laughter will never ever be forgotten. And all of this before Christmas Eve!!!

Christmas Eve is a BIG galla for our tiny little Church ever since I was 8 years old.........this year was no different!!! However, there was some differences that went unnoticed to everyone EXCEPT OUR family!!! First and foremost...a stick in my crawl...no one made mention this was my parents LAST Christmas at Community Church after 30 some odd years.....*gggrrr.......the claws came out, but maintained well*..........second for the second time in my life my daddy came and sat with his family in the BACK of the church!!! The only other time my daddy was with his family in the church was during my wedding with Speedbump!!!

Then Christmas day happens way to quickly upon us as I have to fly back to Dallas two days after.................we are opening gifts and having a grand old family time together when a gift is handed to me by my mother.....my daddy has tears in his eyes........no cameras are allowed when I'm told.....this is from your mother and father..............but in all truth your daddy insisted and creacted this item for you.

Me the all REFUSAL of crying..........waves hands in front of my face and says OKAY give me your best shot.......OMG............there is a story...........

My parents a few years back came to visit and I fell in love with a diamond / saphire ring which only fit my pinky finger. It was in an antique shop and I knew I couldn't afford it on a good day but I LOVED IT!!! I walked out of the shop and went into another and my daddy stayed behind and bought me the ring and gave it to me before he left on that trip...........I cried and cried!!!!! And treasure that ring like no other piece of jewerely until NOW........

The gift I recieved this year was a bracelet..............saphires and diamonds dripped in gold..........special made by a friend in town and designed by my DADDY to match the ring he bought me in Texas years back. When I opened my present in shock........my daddy asked do you still have the ring? I told him OF COURSE and he told me now you have the bracelet and eventually you'll have the necklace and earings to match God willing..........then he looked at me and chocked up and said from a priceless jewel to another...one that can be bought and one whom can't my baby girl...............I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On this trip I received many blessings!!!!! It just reinforced the fact how much I miss home and home may be where the heart is but the heart will always lie where my parents are ~

This Christmas was hard, tearful but always remembered..............as it was a Christmas I found I gave more to my parents than they gave me and it makes me crave to be closer to them and know just how deeply I am loved!!!

For one year.............I was home for Christmas and it WASN"T it in my dreams!!!

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and for those whom have family involved in the tragidy over yander with the earthquake I only pray they are safe and you'll hear from them soon..............for the record yes there is more and yes there is photo's.............but since I haven't updated in awhile, as I've been told :smile........I thought I'd update quickly before heading to bed.......

Home safetly

Jamie

Setting up my little stand in the blog world........I'll begin my therapy for the night.....

Well Q16 realized tonight, mama isn't so stupid after all!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A hard lesson he had to learn when he had to admit to this "girlfriend from hell" 's parents, not only did he want to have sex with her but she was offering it in detailed porptions to two strangers and his parents.............that is just a portion of my night................

For the record, YES he is still living and breathing and my mug shot is NOT on CNN at the moment; okay at least for this crime.............:lol

Anyhoot.....there is much to post about, but at the moment I'm tired and in less than 3 hours I have to get up and go to work.........so basically I"m just checking in to say hello to a blog that I have neglected and only hope I have one or two readers still left in this "internet" world...........

Night Night All.........

Everyone run over and wish our T a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

T we've had our issues, we've had our fights, but more importantly we have our friendship!!! Be hapy and hold your head high and have a WONDERFUL birthday!!!!!!

Well tonight has been an interesting night in the end, but since it is my only day off this week, even though I had to clean house ~ UUGGGHH ~ a very enriched night also........

Which brings me to my title ~ things that make you hummmmmmmmmmm ~

Read further if you dare ~

At least in my opinion!!! Tonight, I'm flipping through the channels of TV trying to find something to watch when I stumble upon a title called "Trading Spouses". It is on Fox TV at 7 p.m. Central time on Tuesday nites apparently. NO I didn't watch it but the title caught my attention ~

What is the world coming too :biggrin!!!

However, the post below and some valuable conversations from my weekend from the post below has inspired me to post my views on this matter.

These are my views and mine alone.......okay maybe one/two or more might agree with me, but bottom line is this ~ this is my blog and I can rant, cry, bitch, brag, rejoice and anything else I WANT TOOO..............you're only option is to stop reading :smile

Now to my post and eventually your viewing pleasure.........read further if you dare....

Never a dull moment even when I'm not blogging let me tell ya!!!

In a brief overview of the events that have happened to date:

I landed a 15 second spot on Lifetime TV and their website too boot writing about my mama and growing up adopted.

Speedbump has been working his sexy ass off at work

I've decided domestic goddess I'm not and it is time to hit the work force with both feet firmly planted on the pavement. Unfortunatelly, to date, potiential employers do not join in my enthusiasm. I have a few good solid possibilities, but we'll see.

However, our wedding anniversary weekend was eventful :biggrin ~

Read more if you dare ~

Don't go hand and hand GGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

What I posted about two minutes ago was titled "Hubby Will Enjoy This Post" ~ stated further with a sarcastic laugh...

I stoled this post from Bitchy woman, okay at least some of it :smile

Finish reading my blog's before making a post ey? :lol

I stole this from Dr. Dwho stole it from Billy

1. . Have you ever had sex in a public place?

Well umm yeah

2. Have you ever totalled a car?

Yes hense why I don't drive in the rain

3. Have you ever slept rough?

Yet another OMG YES ~ sleeping on the ground in a pop up tent OUCH and months of agony on the body!!!

4. Have you ever seen pornography that made you feel sick?

Okay ewwww yes I have ewwwww wiping that visual from my head again.....

5. Have you ever fired a gun?

Just because I'm PMS postal most the time, you'll all be able to sleep better knowing NO I have not ever fired a gun.

6. Have you ever slept with a woman heavier than you?

Slept with in the sexual sense no ~ slept with just sleeping they would say yes but again I state no

7. Can you draw a horse?

I can't draw a straight line much less a horse :lol

8. Have you ever stared death in the face?

Uforntantelly, the answer is yes and that is far as I'll discuss it.

Now for another photo of our humble abode :biggrin our kitchen area

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Tootles darlin's if I still have a reading following.......

I stole this from T'sey who stole this from Buffy who stole this from many other's down the line :smile.

1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says: "some ISP's offer unlimited access to the internet for a flat fee". ~ give me a break I'm sitting by my computer so I have computer books close by gezzz.......

2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
My dog Charlie's head wondering what I'm doing

3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?
The Nanny

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:
Midnight

5: Now look at the clock; what is the actual time?
12:45 a.m.

6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
the train running by

7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
15 minutes ago; to smoke a cig

8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
my daughter sleeping

9: What are you wearing?
shorts and a white cingular wireless t-shirt

10: Did you dream last night?
yes

11: When did you last laugh?
a true heart felt laugh or a sarcastic laugh????? HA isn't that the question??? Okay well not, my last laugh was about an hour ago

12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?
a mixture of items ~ hense it being the playroom and computer room

13: Seen anything weird lately?
no

14: What do you think of this quiz?
beats what I was going to post about :smile

15: What is the last film you saw?
like go to the movies and watch?? I think it was the Ya Ya Divine Sisterhood with my mama

16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
pay off my debts and my parents debts first

17: Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I'm very insecure

18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? for people to get along

19: Do you like to dance?
OMG YES

20: George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or some one who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
George is someone I see as a man of principle and after the last 8 years is something we've needed

21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
that is easy named after my mama and me

22: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
even easier ~ named after my daddy and a name I have always loved

23: Would you ever consider living abroad?
Live? yes ~ not only considered it but did it

With this I'll leave you with a photo of our new humble abode :biggrin.

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THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PEDESTRIANS ~ THE QUICK AND THE DEAD!!!

2 post in one day what is the world coming too ~ :biggrin!!!

Summer in Texas ~ you could melt the lack of undies off a whore and refer to it as the begining and insight to hell to change your ways of life ~

Now in Feb., at least tonight ~ here we go ~ what at THIS time we were looking at ~ now at this moment and time the roads are fully covered ~ and I'm still shivering ~ silk and socks ~ below 30 the combination does not mix I found out :lol

Obviously not about the whole Superbowl issue ~ if I want to see a boob I'll dip mine in chocolate, put on a nipple ring and expose :biggrin.

Q15 is now slowly on the mend and looking normal, thank goodness, maybe by tomorrow he'll stop connecting the dots on his body for fun :angry. Little Ms. Prissy is back to her normal demanding ways so all is well on that home front!!! I'm still flapping in the wings ~ however ~ Buffy in her ultimate wisdom sent me an email last night of a blog she ran across that sums up how not only "I" feel about doctor's and their testing, but Buffy also ~ she just stated in her email we're not alone. I'm so glad that Buffy lead me in a direction of someone who can formulate into words the amount of frustration when you KNOW something is wrong, but doctors and all their test still say "YOUR FINE"!!! :greenchainsaw Awwww, ignore me going postal on you because well your records show "I"M FINE!!!!!!!!!!" :angry

Now to a lighter note :biggrin a dear friend of mine sent this out and well me and my all might BITCHY nature LOVES it!!! Enjoy :smile

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know
where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for
the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel
manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.
Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do
this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I
paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a
choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it?
If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an
improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn
thing anyone ever fucking does!!
What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumass?

SENDING YOU A BOOB AND NIPPLE SHOT ~ HA!!!! YEAH RIGHT KEEP DREAMING!!!!!

Okay, I checked my email today for this site, I optained many emails some from whom I knew and others well they seemed to enjoy my site, however, they seem to think I need some form of penis enlargment issue ~

Let me just state right here right now I'm so FEMALE I make men's bank accounts shudder just walking by me ~ secondly ~ dramine2000 I'm so glad you are enjoying my site and have felt the need to leave several disertations about some of my post, HOWEVER, if you are on my site to increase *no pun intended* traffic towards your "penis enlargement site" well you are so on the wrong site for more than the issue; I don't want a penis, I don't have a penis, and so therefore I don't need penis enlargements!!!! And I can promise you my male readers don't need it either :biggrin

Now if it were just a few passing emails, I'd just contact my trusty"make them go away" person T'sey and have all issues removed, however, after 3 days of NON STOP emails leading up to almost present post, some oneliners and some with full disertations of their views on life ~ *shakes head* ~ I felt the person was reading my site.

So in summary, if you want me to enhance the balls I don't have at least have the balls enough to STOP trying to "enhance" your penis enlargement site in my comment section and BIG ENOUGH BALLS, as in the song AC/DC sings, to swing them out for other's to read other than in my archieve section :smile.

Thank you very much now GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bows ~ thank you everyone for my rant GOOD NITE

Okay so I'm a bit behind ~ yeah and I'm blonde and check below considered royalty so sue me or else just :bite me!!!! I found these questions over at Izzy's site. Yes I'm finally catching up on reads.

Well Patti sent me the photo ~ I hope I didn't crop it down too small for viewing ~ go ahead and check it out here ~

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For the record, the cutie I'm holding doesn't belong to me ~ and yes T-Bone that was where my hand was :lol

Well after months of trying to get together it has finally happened. The Texas bloggers finally got together face to face!!! We had been planning this for about two weeks and kept joking something was going to happen where it wouldn't happen ~ well :lol several things happened!!!

It was brought to my attention this morning that I have posted a poem I recieved via email without permission of the author. The poem was titled on my blog A Woman's Day.

The author of this poem and I have exchanged emails and I have obtained permission from her to keep the poem with making some corrections that had been altered through the lines of emails.

I am posting about this here because we are all guilty of posting jokes/poems/stories and the like where it states at the bottom "author unknown".

After this, I know I'll be more careful of how quickly I am to copy and paste to my blog for fear that I could be using someone else's work and not giving them credit. As a friend said to me today, I'd not like someone using my writings without being given the correct credit.

By the time anyone goes back to refresh their minds of what post I'm talking about I'll have made the corrections to have it back to it's orginial written form along with the author's name on the end of that entry.

MISTAKES ARE INEVITABLE ~ MAKE THEM, DEAL WITH THEM AND THEN MOVE ON

I recently had several conversations with a "fellow" blogger about having blogger's crap about posting ~ please note I usually always give credit where credit is due to conversations, however, this was a "private" conversation so no links will be added or names for that matter ~

In our discussion, we were talking about my aspiration in life. How we actually came to that topic is beyond my wee blonde brain because I really try to keep serious topics off the table, but well hello, this conversation happened.

It was then where I mentioned me writing about my growing up years and my parents already had read it and found it entertaining, as well as several friends who have suffered thru the disertation, that this friend stated why not post some of those writings on your blog.

That has actually been a few days/week or so ago. I'm blonde and don't keep track of time so sue me, but ever since this friend stated this to me, I've considered it.

But my, mmmmmmmmmmmmm, what is the word, mmmmmmmmmm, first word that leaps to mind is warped, but still searching and for the record no comments from the cheap seats okay!!! :angry

In essence, I"m asking my general readers, should I have any of those, their views to add along with my friend?

I can already hear ~T~ moaning now, OMG she is in "edit" mode. Yet, I think even my dear friend would agree, I'd have to edit what is already written to be posted here on my blog or else T-Bone, being last man on the totem pole would have a hard way to go for server space :lol.

Okay maybe, well most definatelly, I over stepped my non spelling boundaries with T-Bone, gezzz think about it between him, T *our gracious host*, and Buffy, Speedbump okay a non issue for server space. Sorry hubby had to say it ~ and myself ~ we are what tv stations call a non commodity in comparison. Our ratings sucks......... :lol

So I'm basically asking ~ anyone interested in reading about some of my childhood fullishness?????????? Don't feel guilty about the whole ratings bit but it sounded good at the time :biggrin...............

Until I post again, be afraid, hell I know I am on a regular basis so join my fan club :lol .........................................remember this ~

SOME PEOPLE TURN BACK THEIR ODOMETERS ~ NOT ME ~
I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW "WHY" I LOOK THIS WAY!!!
I'VE TRAVELED A LONG WAY AND SOME OF THE ROADS WEREN'T PAVED!!!

I got this from Buffy via email and got a kick out of it and thought for my blog today, I'd share this with everyone ~ enjoy!!!

What Do Women Do All Day?

Every minute, to and fro,
That's the way my hours go,
Bring me this, take me that,
Feed the dog, put out the cat.

Yes, I got a wonderful suprise this afternoon. My phone rang and I answered ~ on the other end was the sexy man's voice asking to speak to me ~ of course I quickly said "speaking" ~ then he informed me of whom I was talking with ~ :biggrin ~ DR.D.!!!!! He was having a relaxing day today and decided to suprise me ~ how sweet was that!!! :smile Thank you again Dr. D for the phone call ~ have a safe trip home handsome!!!

Now I'll share another tid bit that my in law sent to me :smile. She of course told me to pay particular attention to the last entry as it was she and I. Enjoy it ~ It is titled "Tips For The Ladies" ~

Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish
while it's still cooking,drop in a peeled potato and
it will absorb the excess salt for an instant
"fix-me-up."
Real Woman - If you over-salt a dish while you are
cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me,
The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it
and I don't care how bad it tastes."
******************************************************
Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in
half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will
go away.
Real Woman - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill
and drink. You might still have the headache, but who
cares?
*******************************************************
Ladies
- Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom
of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Woman - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom
of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying
on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
*******************************************************
Ladies
- To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple
in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Woman - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it
in the pantry for up to a year.
*******************************************************
Ladies
- When a cake recipe calls for flouring the
baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and
there won't be any white mess on the bottom of the
cake.
Real Woman - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate
it for you.
*******************************************************
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust
before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Woman - Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not
include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I
just don't do it.
*******************************************************
Ladies
- If you have a problem opening jars, try
using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip
grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Woman - Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do
it.
*******************************************************
And
finally the most important tip....
Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine.
Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and
sauces.
Real Woman - Leftover wine??

Have a great day everyone!!! :smile

MEN ARE FROM EARTH ~ WOMEN ARE FROM EARTH ~ DEAL WITH IT!!!!

Are you afraid yet????? :smile You should be or else I'm feeling better ~ yeah yeah I'm feeling better!!!!

Anyhoot, just got off the phone with my mother n law, yet another mother in my life, but she loves me regardless, I hope :biggrin. I've shared some great jokes that she has sent me ~ but today I got permission to post some of her photo's and still awaiting my other dad *her husband* to allow me to post some GREAT photo's of him. See I'm fair, I don't post photo's without permission. :smile.

So not to confuse everyone, mama is MY mother, MOM will be my mother n law, POPPIE is mom's husband, PAPA is MY daddy and GRANDPA is Speedbump's dad. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I think that pretty much covers any confusion!!! :lol

So needless to say, you'll have to check out my photoblog frequently, because there are TONS of photo's that incorporate them I'd love to post, but I have to get approval first. Ohhh did I forget to mention Nonnie??? The only living Great Grandma??? She is Speed's grandmom and a dream...........I truely married into a great family ~ it took some working through rough times, bitches between us all, learning where one stands, but July 4th will be 5 years I've been in this family and I feel that we have a GREAT relationship!!! We've fought, we've bickered, we've not talked, but in the end, we are family and love one another..........I'm glad to call them my parents!!!!

So everyone welcome them to the group as MOM has said she wants to come and moderate me :biggrin I have no idea why ~ :smile ~ I think it revolved around my boyfried Toby ~ since I've told her and Poppie to start trying to win me tickets with backstage passes :banana. Yeah Yeah that's it!!!! :biggrin.

SOME DAYS ARE JUST A WASTE OF MAKEUP

Well first off, the link, it is official now, our photoblog is up and running and linked on my side bar. Titled "Jet's Photoblog". There are not that many photo's up thus far, but will continually keep adding to it, as I have a TON of photo's to add. Now please also note, to see all the photo's posted and such, you'll have to check out every catagory listed. I'd love to be able to take credit for this, however, I can't. All my abilities of blogging, photoblog and the like I owe to ~T~ she soooo takes care of me always!!! If I were into women I'd be giving ~L~ a run for her money :biggrin. *just kidding ~L~ I know I wouldn't stand a chance, but couldn't resist* :smile. Thank you both for the call today!!!!

Okay that covers the link ~ now for the women ~ I love this one!!! Another one sent to me from my mother n law :smile

Now for the men!!! All I can say is "OUCH" and "WHY"!!!

For all the people who have wished me a Happy Birthday ~ thank you very much *S* ~ Desiree thank you for the upcoming gift I'm anxiously awaiting for you to get it done :smile.

Have a great rest of the weekend everyone!!!

MY INNER CHILD IS A SASSY LITTLE BITCH TOO

While talking with T the other night on the phone till all hours of the a.m. :smile. She and I decided to give ~e~ his wish on national TV. She and I are going to apply for the Amazing Race Reality Show.

Yes I know ~ I stated in an earlier post I'd not participate in any of these, however, between T and I it would be up in the air on what dirt the media finds on us first :biggrin. Plus we'd probably not even make the cut ~ at least that is what we are both hoping for :smile.

~e~ of course, thinks she and I should host an online talk show :lol ~ but after discussing all these reality shows, she told me you send in the application and if we are selected I'll participate with you ~ she and I both agreed it would be the most "bleeped" show in the history of man!!! I guess you'd have to hear me and T talk to one another to truely understand the depth of that statement :lol.

Reality shows might become a thing of the past after she and I are on TV ~ and Lord knows my daddy a preacher HA!!!! I can see him sitting in his recliner *because I'd never let them know I did this* ~ flipping through the channels on cable and seeing my face and HEY not a mug shot on CNN for most wanted at the moment :biggrin!!! After watching it however, his might be on CNN for killing me!!!

Knowing my daddy he'd sit and watch ~ and after the second bleep between T and I ~ he'd move on grumbling ~ but if we won ~ which if we participate we'd damn sure better win..........he'd get over it ~ right? :lol. Left to our devises to obtain money for travel.........HEY this is T and myself we are talking about ~ we can become very creative!!! However, I did state, if it boiled down to having to strip it is a coin toss :lol.

She however told me if any bungy jumping and swiming in areas where one can not see the bottom I had to go first because well I'd never do it :lol. For if she went first I'd be standing either on the top or across the water waving at her saying "How was it ~ because I'm NOT doing it!!!"

Here is a visiual for yeah with bungy jumping, T saying, "ahhhh James just try on the equipment and make sure it fits".............once it is on her kicking me off the edge and screaming "SIKEEEEEEEEEEEE"............................*shaking head*........bottom line if I'm going to be swinging upside down from anything it damn well better be sexually orinated!!!! The ONLY way I'd consider bungy jumping is if it gave me a boob lift fore going surgery!!!!

Are you guys afraid if we actually become contenstents??? WE ARE!!!! Talk about blog world taking a new meaning :lol!!! If in doubt of what to post check you local TV GUIDE!!!!! :biggrin!!!

T did however inform me, my flask would not be exceptable nor could I blame it adding flavor to caaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwfffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!! For some reason Tequila is not considred early a.m. coffee execptable........:wtf? Tequila has always brought smiles and good moods in my experience hense all I will say on that issue.......other than Tequlia you are a friend of mine........I like to drink with a little ~ well you get the picture.......:wink. Do they frisk ya before sending you off to the land of the unknown???

I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE ~ SOMETIMES I EVEN PUT IT IN THE FOOD

Do you not know that during these months in the state of Texas you don't wash your vehicle, much less WAX IT!!!! Gezzzzz, so therefore, I'm blaming all of my past three days on you!!!! :smile.

Sleepless nights because the dogs and Little Ms. Prissy Princess are scared shitless of thunderstorms........then today we had to dig out our canopy swing from the deep end of the pool due to the 70 plus winds that went through here last night........luckily I saved my potted plants prior to the high winds or I'd really be pissed!!!

However, I can still be nice Texas T-Bone ~ I'll not post a photo of me in a bikini ~ I'll scare you in person when we finally can arrange our schedules and have that cook out / pool party!!! How is that :biggrin!!!

Now to my Irresistible Headlines ~ they had two that really made me giggle today ~ a much needed giggle I might add.......

First ~ the lack of donors for the "Smart Sperm Male Bank" :lol ~ *rolling eyes* Come on now ~ these are men we are talking about ~ you know the one's who usually think with the brain below and they wonder why they have a decline in "Smart Sperm"? *laughing as I'm typing this as I know my men are going to come *no pun intended* out of the wood work on this one!!!!*

Second ~ A man who let his "fingers do too much typing" from Fort Brag ~ this is to me wayyy too comical!!!! I mean really ~ engaged by talking on the internet?????????? Yeah right!!!!!!!!! Cybering doesn't count people!!!!!! And isn't cybering out of the "norm" now???????? Okay well ummm *sly smile* maybe not :wink!!!

Technology has picked up a bit since I had my first computer ~ we've now upgraded to the show and tell stage aka web cam ~ yeah baby!!!! :lol

As you can tell my mood is getting better ~ slowly but surely :smile. I'll just end like this ~ if you are going to tell me what you are going to do at least fire up web cam and SHOW ME BABY ~ I'm employed by Buffy's phone sex company and hey my boss wants to see profit profit profit.....who knows maybe tomorrow when I get my stats in I'll see where someone was searching phone sex companies and that will be in there ~ I've already been found from a yahoo search from the key words "enjoys large ~ fill in the blank" :lol.

Hope everyone had a good nite and has a great day!!!!

EVERYONE HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY ~ SOME JUST DON'T HAVE FILM!!!

Isn't T great :smile ~ she and I were talking on the phone the other night and just like I have to change my house around frequently we got tired of looking at Witchy Bitchy :lol. This is what we decided to try ~ I like it a great deal better myself!! Thank you T for all your help/patience/and advise :wink. Keep checking back as we are also doing a photoblog so you can see our ugly mug shots!!!

Now ~ to the post ~ how many people watch these reality shows that keep popping up out the wazzo? I personally can't stand them ~ I have enough trouble keeping up with my own reality so why on earth watch someone else's. Anyhoot, I was reading where in our area they were doing a show calling, I guess that is what it is called, for an upcoming new show called "Second Chance". The plot, if there is one, is like this ~ you are put in an area with 5 people whom you have dated, loved, whatever that you want to see again and see if you can have a "Second Chance" with at least one of them. HA!!!! I think not!!!

One of the main reasons I'd not do something like this would be because well I don't think I've dated, loved, or whatever 5 guys I'd like to hook back up with ~ that being the whole reason behind the show you can't exactly make a list of 5 new guys you'd like to take a chance with :smile. Second most important reason ~ I don't take rejection well at all ~ :lol.

Then I read today where on this new show that I guess is airing now "For Love Or Money". The guy lost his job and the discussion of his "sketchy inappropriate past with sexual misconduct". He is from this area as well as three of the girls on this show. So not only is he now jobless, but he is going to choice one woman who will no doubt dump him immediately as she cashes her million dollar check he has no idea she is getting :biggrin. Now I'd be more tempted to participate in that one except for the whole rejection issue and the media would look for anything to write about apparently and Lord knows they'd have a field day with me :smile!!

What would you do or if you would participate in one of these reality type shows?

MY REALITY CHECK BOUNCED!!!

At least sometimes :biggrin ~ yes everyone my Speedbump has posted once again ~ contemplated posting twice in one evening, however, well ummm, never mind :wink.

Go check him out ~

MEN HAVE TWO EMOTIONS ~ HUNGRY AND HORNEY ~ IF YOU SEE HIM WITHOUT A BONER ~ MAKE HIM A SANDWICH!!!!

Have a great day!!!

Welcome to my little piece of heaven. Beautiful isn’t it? Makes you just want to sit down on the nearest cove and bury your feet in the sand to feel the breeze on your face, the smell of the salt air filling up your senses and making all the wrong’s in one’s world completely right once again.

Watching few people walking the beach for exercise or romance yet sitting on the side lines and smiling ~ for once allowing your mind to wander and remember ~ the pleasures and antics of one’s youth, how can one not smile over such issues? How time flies by isn’t it ~ one’s youth seems so long ago and more than a distant memory, yet while sitting on a beach hearing nothing but the crashing of the waves as the tide comes in ~ your mind working in many different directions of one’s life. Youth doesn’t seem that far out of reach!

The beach has always been my solitude, peace of mind, can right any wrong and make life enjoyable once again. Rather it is lying on the beach baking myself or sitting on a hill just watching people walk by and the sunset allowing your mind to wander where you don’t allow it to follow during your day-to-day activities. The ocean seems out of reach, solitude is only a dream, yet somehow, once again, you find that much needed solitude and calgon didn’t have anything to do with it :smile.

All it took was the washing of the waves, the seagulls flying above you, the sun setting just like the most enjoyable things in life, out of reach and within a few hours out of sight and mind until the sunset takes the same position many years down the road!

Hope you enjoyed my little piece of heaven!!!! Have a great nite!!!

Well since I bored you all with my insomnia ramblings :smile I figured since my mind is so tired from lack of sleep I'd share some humor my mother n law sent me today ~ see it is safe to read now :biggrin.

Don't be offended guys, just enjoy good humor. And ladies, you can enjoy
it too.

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world."

The woman says, "I'll miss you."

_______________________

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

_______________________

He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to
you really badly.

She said - Well, you succeeded.

______________________

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said - That's a good idea...you stand by the ironing board while I
sit on the sofa and fart.

_____________________

He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror

______________________

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor

A friend of mine just lost one of his friends to cancer in the last few weeks and has done a memorial page for her. He did a wonderful job and thought I'd share the link with everyone and anyone who was interested in taking a look and see

The addy is www.wolvesdare.com/bobbie

He did a wonderful job I think ~

Have a great nite everyone

Jamie

That my mood is still bad and getting worse by the day :angry!!! I'm done bitching so be happy :smile ~ see I can be nice :lol NOT!!!

Anyhoot, I needed a pick me upp'er considering my mood as of the last two weeks or so and what better thing than reading up on sex articles? :biggrin

Hey Buffy darlin', I found you rules and reg's for your phone sex job :biggrin, contact me privately. This article I was reading where I found MORE nouns, verbings, and adjectives with incomplete sentences :wink they were also discussing the whole phone sex issue........I would add it, however, well sometimes it read like someone tapped in on my phone line :biggrin. HA!!! Yeah I wish!!!

Okay enough of all of that ~ now to what I found and willing to post :biggrin ~

You make me so (adj)
I want you to (verb) my (noun)
You make my (noun) (adj)
Your (noun) makes me so (adj)
I want to (verb) your (noun)
I want to (verb) your (adj) (noun)
I love it when you (verb) my (noun)
I want to make your (noun) (adj)
I love to look at your (adj) (noun)
Thinking about you makes my (noun) (adj)

Okay re-reading these I'm fearful of what hubby is going to post on his blog as he has already threatened to post photo's of kiwi and answer these :blush.

Personally, I don't see how kiwi fits into this, but hey, "kiwi" doesn't do it for me either so what do I know :smile. I'll be interested to hear some feed back thou or at least better stated fearful ~ whatever the case ~ give me a much needed laugh these days okay :biggrin!!!!

MY INNER CHILD IS A LITTLE SASSY BITCH ALSO

I've been spending much time reading up on my blog reading which is long over due, however, even though I didn't comment, it got my twisted mind a working. For those that don't know me, be afraid, for those that know me, are moaning saying ohhhhhhhhhhh where is this going :smile.

I was reading up on T-Bone's blog where he posted his five most memorable kisses. A comical read to say the least one must read him to truely appreciate him!!! Then I was reading on Dr. D's blog on his writings about Blanche. Let me just say 'yummy" and he thinks he can't write HA!!!! You do great Dr. D!!!!

Anyways, reading all of this got my warped mind thinking :biggrin ~

Are you afraid yet?? You should be ~ I won't bore you with my inability of writing or giving you a run down of my first 5 kisses ~ hell I can't even remember those :smile.

However, I do remember my FIRST MEMORABLE kiss ~ I'll share some of that with you ~ as well as my SECOND Meomorable kiss ~

It was way back when in one's memory that they only wish they could forget but yet no matter how old you get, it always creeps back into your mind. Your eyes meet in a teasing manner to begin with and then a proposition that is borderline dare. Yet neither of you can stop smiling at the other ~ yet in both your minds you wonder who will back down first? Well being one never to back down ~ I didn't take my chances ~ I took the first leap..........

The sun was setting when I first wandered up on him ~ he was sitting in a lounge chair drinking a beer talking amoung friends when I wandered up and said "hello'........I truely believe I shocked the man in question as he about choked on his swallow of beer when he looked up and saw me smiling at him. All he could do was smile in his ever so devilish way. His friends pulled me up a chair and offered me a beer which I gladly took because well I was scared shitless, yet as always determined :smile.

We all drank, talked, listened to music until everyone left but me and the person in question..........all of the sudden the only thing between us was the beers we were both nursing, sly smiles, and music as after everyone left neither of us seemed to know how to talk. After all it was a dare, probably one he gave to every woman he saw, I just took him up on it that particular nite :smile.

The sun was almost set completely, the breeze from the ocean was blowing, salt air twisting and turning between us and then I stood and said well I guess I should go. He being the gentlemen he always has been stood with me and then it happened.

I don't even know how exactly as we were saying our goodbyes, I felt his arm wrap around me and our lips met each others.............shyly in the begining then all armours down, as I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me closer.......shyness became an after thought...........and that is when people say "the rest is history" :biggrin

The second most memorable kiss maybe not as 'romantic a setting' but well ~ I'll let you be the judge..............

A man walks off an aircraft carrier for no other reason than to met me........of course me being the type person I've become, I'm hiding!!! I watch his facial expressions of many different emotions.......first the look of excitment searching the large crowd before him, second doubt, third, OMG I'm going to be in this town for 3 days alone I've been stood up. The fourth look is one I'll never forget.........I stood up and smiled ~ his eyes met mine across the turmional and I saw something I've never seen before with any man, he caught his breath. Maybe it was because I was so misheaved but since he married me maybe not :biggrin.............

There was no running or jumping into one another's arms, it was just walking up to one another saying simply "hello there". He just looked at me and actually asked, can I kiss you now? I just smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck and slightly kissed him and said does that answer your question..........that is when the kiss of all kisses happened right there in front of God and everyone.............toe curling, looking for a quick place to hide and well ummmm like they say "the rest is history"............

In my life time I have been kissed manyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy times ~ but these two kisses in my life time are the most memorable they were kisses of possiblities are endless..........those are the best kisses don't you think?

EVERY TIME I FIND MR. RIGHT ~ MY HUSBAND SCARES HIM AWAY

I'm in a mood, hense why I haven't posted, however, a long time friend of mine trying to cheer me up sent me something from way back when, that I still can find humor in even when in a mood :smile.

So since I don't care to discuss my mood I'll share what she sent :biggrin

The Ballad Of The Bobbit Hillbillies
(sing to the tune of the "The Beverly Hillbillies")

Come and listen to my story of a man named John.
A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone.
It seems one night after gettin' with the wife,
She lopped off his schlong with the swipe of a knife.

(Penis, that is)
(Clean cut, missed his nuts)

Well, the next thing you know there's a ginsu by his side,
And Lorena's in the car takin' willie for a ride.
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend,
And tossed him out the window as she rounded a bend.

(Curve, that is)
(Pricker shrubs, wheel hubs)

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack,
And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back.
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed 'over there',
To John Wayne's Henry that was waving in the air.

(Found, that is)
(By a fence, evidence)

Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart too long,
So a dick doc said, 'Hey, I can fix you dong!'
"A needle and a thread is all you're gonna need,"
And the whole world waited 'till they heard that Johnny peed.

(Whizzed, that is)
(Even seam, straight stream)

Well, he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court.
With a cockeyed lawyer since his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assult and acquited him of rape.
And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape.

(Video, that is)
(Unexposed, case closed)

At least I found a chuckle in the bad mood I'm in these days :smile ~ however she did offer to write something along these lines about a kiwi so you men who are holding themselves going "ouch" :biggrin ~ okay I"ll refrain my comment :smile.

Nite all ~

Yes everyone BE AFRAID, hubby has posted!!!! Go check it out is all I'll say :biggrin I have no doubt you men and women who enjoy that issue will REALLY enjoy his post................he put his "own" version on one of the letters posted :lol

Let it be embetted in one's brain ~ hubby or not if I call them MY MAN I DON'T SHARE!!! As my man, fantasy, sexual wanna be, he just doesn't know it yet :smile, Toby Keith says in his song .........."It's All About ME"

Nite Everyone........

LAUGH THE WORLD LAUGHS WITH YOU ~ SNORE AND SLEEP ALONE

Well let's see how you guys answer these questions now :smile. In the same magazine I found where they are promoting yet another book ~ I'm having way too much fun reading this magazine :biggrin. This book is called Be Incredible In Bed. I figured what they hey everyone could use some pointers huh?

It offers a four step guide with each step having the same type of workbook as we sampled from previous post :smile.

The four steps include ~ 1. A Quiz ~ How Hot Is Your Sex Life *I decided to skip that one* ~ 2. How To Turn Your Man On *I read some of this section and decided this should really be titled Dummies Guide To Turning On A Man* ~ 3. Using Your Hands *:smile I liked this section* 4. The Secrets Of Oral Pleasure *please note the guide is getting better!!!*

I decided from the workbook section I'd post this one to await how all of you would feel in the blanks :biggrin.

My favorite place to kiss my partner is ___________.

The song (or music) that really gets me in the mood is _________.

I can't keep my eyes off my partner when he/she wears _________.

The most erotic part of my partner's body is his/her _________.

It sounds crazy but when my partner _________, it drives me wild!

Well work is bellowing my attention so I must depart! Enjoy :smile

EVERYTIME I FIND MR. RIGHT ~ MY HUSBAND SCARES HIM AWAY

He left words to fill in the nouns, verbs and adjective's so I'll take the letter and add his own words in the order he left them.......lets see how it turns out :lol

The Love Letter:

Darling I've been thinking about you all day and about how much I love your car. I can't get it out of my head. I love the way it feels in my garage. Just thinking about it there makes my motor race. I wish you were here right now so that I could run my keys up and down your ignition. No one's vehicle has ever affected me the way yours does. The way you drive me with it makes me want to scream with delight. My garage is pulsating just imagining you driving me. Come and get me, Darling. My garage is your garage.

:hum well not what I had in mind so I guess my innocents is shot out the door way in a bad fashion. But hey it was funny non the less...........:biggrin

Now to T-Bone's input on the bad dinner version of the letter ~

I love to eat yogurt because it's such a sensual food. The way it feels on my tongue reminds me of hitting you because it's so soft and smooth. I know they say that oysters are an aphrodisiac, but for me, corn really puts me in the mood. The combination of the texture, the smell and the taste excite my senses to such a degree that I get completely turned on. So much so that right now, as I sit here, I wish I could come over there, sit on your lap, and slip my butter knife down your pants. I'd like to take this olive oil and drizzle it on your microwave and then use my hand to heat it up you until you're close to beeping. Then I'd take the whipped cream from my cappuccino, smear it on my bagel, and hide you under the table while you kick it off me. And when neither of is could stand it any more, I'd let you take me right here on this banquette, and slide your olive-oiled waring blender into my gigantic, stainless steel, oven, until we both eat leftovers like we've never eaten before.

:notworthy of T-Bone!!!!

Thanks T-Bone ~ now I'm glad I didn't post the bedroom issue..........but now rethinking that issue as your input has been GREAT!!!!! :lol

MY INNER CHILD IS A SASSY LITTLE BITCH TOO

Okay my normal source of fun reading paled in comparision when I located Cosmo online. My gawd, they do give very detailed advise let me tell ya :biggrin. Anyways, as I moused my way through the pages, I ran across this article The Good Girls' Guide To Talking Dirty.

Since I'm such the shy type, I had to read :smile. So I'm going to cut and paste some of the ideas they came up with ~ have fun with this one!!!! :biggrin.

Theme: A Letter to Your Lover

Darling I've been thinking about you all day and about how much I love your (noun). I can't get it out of my head. I love the way it feels in my (noun). Just thinking about it there makes my (noun) (adjective). I wish you were here right now so that I could run my (noun) up and down your (noun). No one's (noun) has ever affected me the way yours does. The way you (verb) me with it makes me want to scream with delight. My (noun) is (verb)-ing just imagining you (verb)-ing me. Come and get me, Darling. My (noun) is your (noun).

Okay after reading that I couldn't resist finding out the next idea which is to be giving during a meal. You know, being shy and all like I am, and such a very well behaved individual this was an education for me :smile.

Theme: The "Bad" Dinner

I love to eat (noun) because it's such a sensual food. The way it feels on my tongue reminds me of (verb)-ing you because it's so soft and smooth. I know they say that oysters are an aphrodisiac, but for me, (noun) really puts me in the mood. The combination of the texture, the smell and the taste excite my senses to such a degree that I get completely turned on. So much so that right now, as I sit here, I wish I could come over there, sit on your lap, and slip my (noun) down your (noun). I'd like to take this olive oil and drizzle it on your (noun) and then use my hand to (verb) you until you're close to (verb)-ing. Then I'd take the whipped cream from my cappuccino, smear it on my (noun), and hide you under the table while you (verb) it off me. And when neither of is could stand it any more, I'd let you take me right here on this banquette, and slide your olive-oiled (noun) into my (adjective), (adjective), (noun), until we both (verb) like we've never (verb-ed) before.

Didn't get a chance to get to the third one which is for in the bedroom ~ I guess I should go and read up on that one and educate myself further :lol.

Figured since I bored all of you in my rant earlier I'd give it a little pick me upper so to speak around here :smile.

EVERYTIME I FIND MR. RIGHT ~ MY HUSBAND SCARES HIM AWAY

Kicking in because I've been sitting here staring at a blank screen trying my best to think of something to post!!! I've even gone to other sites to get ideas and catch up on my reads ~ but all of my reads are great bloggers and can't take from them :sad2.

However, in one of my reads, she is requesting help on blog rolling, uploading files etc. I know that I have many who read my site that are very well versed in that area so take a skip over and see if you can help