Rants: June 2002 Archives

I think I'm reaching that point where I hate the thought of redoing my site..

I've been working on templates (with major help in that area..thank you honey), graphics, etc.. for days now and I'm about to give up.
its not that I don't know how or what I'm doing..I do.
I'm just not happy with how its turning out..
OK it SUCKS
its not me..not at all..
*sighs* I think my major problem with it is I keep going back to my old site..the graphic, the title, all of it was perfect for me, (and I'm not the only one that says that)..but perfect for me in that point in time..I've moved on..
and hit a damn roadblock..
I can't seem to find anything that reaches out and grabs me like that image did..I HAD to use that..it was just what I had been looking for..
so I search..and comment..and tech support..write emails..and stall working on it..
shit maybe I need a nap.

In honor of my friend Jet I give you The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood Name Generator. Mine was Empress Still Night (using regular name) or Princess Chocolate Lover(using my nicname)..how appropriate on both of those..LOL.

and now...

All of my readers have been wonderful with this situation concerning my Grandma..I'm sure some of you are getting tired of reading about her..well if so go somewhere else today :-Þ
I have wonderful news on that front..it seems this lady that "wouldn't leave the hospital alive" according to her Dr's..is home *s* shes under hospice "type" care according to my mom..resting comfortably in her own home, and still feisty as hell...
according to my dad (who talked to her the other day) when he asked her if she wanted them to come up for a visit she said..and I quote.."well I guess I can put up with you guys for a couple days" (shaking head) yep sounds just like her..still hanging in there and still fighting, I wouldn't have expected any less.

now for something thats been going through my head lately..
I spend allot of time reading other blogs..lord knows I really should spend less time doing that and more on other stuff on here I need to do, but I digress..
and allot of the time something I see on them gets me thinking and leads to one of these posts *s*
I wonder sometimes..does anyone really have the 'right' to speak for a whole group of people..I mean we all have our feelings one way or another on certain matters, but isn't everyones situation different depending on themselves personally, where they live (be it country of origin or even place within that country) and themselves personally?
Yes I'm gay. Do I feel I have the right to speak for the whole gay 'community' because of that? heck no! the problems I face living in a small town in 'little Dixie' are much different than someone who lives in a larger town or a different area of the US. And I'm sure people in other country's face a whole different set of problems as well..maybe they are more accepting of things there..maybe not..but we need to remember that the Internet is a big place not only composed of people living in the USA and maybe the problems they face are not the same as the ones we do here.

now..this post I agree with..
I don't take it as a personal attack on gays (maybe cause I see more of it on het. blogs?) however, I take it as someone who doesn't want to read about what you do in your personal life..which is fine. however you have as much right to feel that way and not read it as someone else does to write it..if I see posts like that I move on..heck if I wanted to start a flame war god knows I've had enough posted in my own (past) comments and on other blogs of people who don't even KNOW me to do so..pick your battles..if its worth fighting then by all means do so..but if its just a missunderstanding..talk about it...discuss it..the Internet is a wonderful diverse place where we can all learn from each other..both on our differences and our similarity's..

Think about it

p.s. yes I am going to be changing my layout soon..so if things get crazy looking here you know why *s*

as it was pointed out to me this morning its been a while since I updated..(gee no kidding) so lets see, where to begin..
We were right, grandma doesn't know everything thats going on, come to find out she has 2 aneurysms (one on her aorta one on her stomach) its the one on her stomach thats getting bigger, they were caused by the cancer treatments they were giving her, and aggravated by the meds..so she is now off all meds and being given morphine *sighs* other than that I have no idea whats going on..
FINALLY got to see my kids this weekend!! they have been gone to their cousins the last 2 weeks (since school got out) so this weekend was spent at the park playing hide & seek, swinging on the swings (mental note: do that before eating next time!) playing Nintendo and snuggling on the couch with the 3 of them *big smiles* however I miss them like crazy already!! *pout*
found out this last week also that he did contact his lawyer..and filed for an extension *rolling eyes* so still waiting to see what kind of crap he comes up w/ on this case.

OK, now on another note..there has been some talk going around lately about real vs. web..is one more real than the other..well I don't know about you personally but I am a real person sitting here at this keyboard..(there are some I do tend to wonder about however..*g*)
I've been involved in 'Internet relationships', I've met some very dear people on this little machine..some have moved into my '3D' life, some will probably remain forever on here, does that make them any less of a 'friend' to me..no, I don't feel that it does. to me the definition of a friend is someone who is there for you, doesn't judge you, listens to you, kicks your ass when needed, etc...(and I know there are allot more things I want to say in regards to that however w/ as little sleep as I've had today I can't think of them, but most of it could probably be found Here)
I guess where I'm trying to go with this is that just because you don't see who's on the other side of the keyboard doesn't make them any less real or any less of a friend. I know there are exceptions (and I've meet a few of those to!) to this, but for the most part..well lets just say I would trust more people I've met on here rather than off...as this tends to be more anonymous at times and we feel more open to be ourselves rather than worry what others we meet irl will think, making us put up the walls and don the masks that tend to go along with that..
*shrugs* just my opinion on the matter...